February 12, 2026

The Ghost Of Christmas


The Ghost of Christmas Future-Proofing
Characters:
SCROOGE: A modern tech CEO in a turtleneck.
GHOST: A digital projection appearing on a smart mirror.
Setting: A minimalist penthouse.
SCROOGE: (Tapping his watch) You’re late. My calendar had this haunting scheduled for 11:00 PM. It’s 11:04.
GHOST: THE QUANTUM STREAM IS UNSTABLE, EBENEZER. DO YOU WISH TO SEE THE FUTURE?
SCROOGE: Is it profitable? If it’s just more scenes of people crying over gravestones, I’ll pass. We’ve pivoted to a "wellness" focus this quarter.
GHOST: IN THIS FUTURE, YOUR COMPANY HAS COLLAPSED. YOUR APPS ARE MALWARE. YOUR SERVERS ARE BIRD NESTS.
SCROOGE: (Writing on a tablet) "Bird nests"... so, eco-friendly infrastructure? That’s a win for the ESG report.
GHOST: PEOPLE ARE HAPPY, SCROOGE. THEY ARE TALKING TO EACH OTHER. IN PERSON.
SCROOGE: (Horrified) Without an interface? No data tracking? That’s a nightmare. Show me the gravestone. I prefer the gravestone.
GHOST: IT SAYS: "HE HAD GREAT WIFI, BUT NO FRIENDS."
[BLACKOUT]
Characters:
DETECTIVE MILLER: Gritty, tired, holding a flashlight.
BEE: A woman in her 30s, holding a very calm tabby cat.
Setting: A messy kitchen. A broken vase lies on the floor.
BEE: Detective, he’s a cat. He was asleep on the radiator.
MILLER: That’s what he wants you to think. Look at those paws. Clean. Too clean. Like he’s scrubbed the evidence.
BEE: It was a $5 vase from Ikea. I’ll just buy another one.
MILLER: It’s not about the vase, Bee. It’s about the message. First the vase, then the curtains, then... total anarchy. (To the cat) Who are you working for? The Siamese down the street?
(The cat blinks slowly and begins to purr.)
MILLER: He’s mocking me. The vibration... it’s a code.
BEE: He’s purring because he wants treats.
MILLER: (Leaning in close) Or he’s jammin' my surveillance equipment. I’m taking him in for questioning.
BEE: You are not taking my cat to the station.
MILLER: Fine. But tell him this: We found the catnip stash under the sofa. The DA is gonna have a field day.
[BLACKOUT]
The Last Stand at the Buffet
Characters:
DAVE: A man holding a plate like a shield.
LINDA: A woman armed with a serving spoon.
Setting: A wedding buffet line. The shrimp cocktail is almost gone.
DAVE: Back away, Linda. I saw the cocktail sauce first.
LINDA: You already have six egg rolls, Dave. Your plate is a structural hazard.
DAVE: I’m eating for two. Me and my inner child, who was deprived of seafood in the 90s.
LINDA: (Points spoon) There is one jumbo shrimp left. If you touch it, I tell the bride you’re the one who tipped over the ice sculpture.
DAVE: (Freezes) You wouldn’t.
LINDA: Try me. I’ve got photos of the "puddle" you created.
DAVE: (Slowly lowers his fork) You’re ruthless.
LINDA: I’m hungry. There’s a difference.
[BLACKOUT]




SCROOGE: Can we change the font to Helvetica?
The Interrogation of Mr. Fluffles
MILLER: (Shining light on the cat) Where were you at 19:00 hours, "Fluffles

The Oxygen Tax


The Oxygen Tax
Characters:
REED: A scavenger in a patched-up spacesuit.
OFFICER ZANE: A sleek, corporate guard with a digital scanner.
Setting: A desolate, airless moon colony. A single oxygen terminal glows blue.
REED: It’s a glitch, Zane. I paid for the "Deep Breath" package this morning.
ZANE: (Scanning Reed’s neck) My readout says you’ve been hyperventilating, Reed. That’s unauthorized consumption of premium grade O2.
REED: I was running! A lunar-rat tried to take my boot!
ZANE: Panic is a luxury. The company doesn't subsidize adrenaline. You owe three credits or I lock the valve.
REED: (Gasping slightly) I’ve got two credits and a half-charged battery.
REED: It’s vintage! Look, just give me a liter. Enough to get back to the hab.
ZANE: Tell you what. I’ll give you thirty seconds of flow if you tell me where you hid that stash of canned peaches you found in the wreckage.
REED: (Beat) You’d trade life-saving air for syrup?
ZANE: It’s a very dry moon, Reed.
REED: ...Bottom of the South Crater. Under the solar panel.
(ZANE turns the valve. A hiss of air fills the space. REED inhales like a drowning man.)
ZANE: Pleasure doing business. Don’t run on the way home. It’s expensive.
[BLACKOUT]
The Duel of the Decades
Characters:
LORD BYRON: A 19th-century poet, dramatic and ruffled.
CHAD: A 21st-century "influencer" with a tripod.
Setting: A misty, purgatory-like moor.
BYRON: (Brandishing a quill) You dare challenge my legacy with your... "TikToks"? I have bled ink for the soul of man!
CHAD: Bro, your "soul of man" doesn't have a high engagement rate. I have four million followers. How many copies of Don Juan did you sell in the first twenty-four hours?
BYRON: I was the scandal of Europe! Women fainted at the mention of my name!
CHAD: Yeah, well, I have a brand deal with a protein powder company. I’m "physically aesthetic." You’re just... damp.
BYRON: I wrote of the mountains, the sea, the eternal yearning of the spirit!
CHAD: (Adjusting his ring light) That’s cool, but can you do the "Renegade" dance? If you don't have a hook in the first three seconds, people just swipe past your yearning, man.
BYRON: (Looks at the quill, defeated) Is there no room for the sublime?
CHAD: There’s room for a "Get Ready With Me" video. "GRWM: Writing a Poem about Sadness (Sponcon)."
BYRON: (Sighs) Give me the glowing rectangle. I shall learn of this "filter."
[BLACKOUT]
The Script Doctor
Characters:
WRITER: Disheveled, surrounded by crumpled paper.
THE MUSE: A woman in a business suit holding a shredder.
Setting: A dark office.
WRITER: It’s my masterpiece! A six-hour epic about the history of salt!
MUSE: (Feeds a page into the shredder) Too salty.
WRITER: Hey! That was the climax! The Great Sodium Riot of 1648!
MUSE: Nobody cares about salt, Arthur. They want "relatable content." Make the salt a metaphor for a broken marriage.
WRITER: But I’ve done the research! I have maps!
MUSE: (Picks up another page) "Scene 14: The Molecule Speaks." No. Molecules don't have character arcs.
WRITER: This one does! He’s lonely! He’s looking for a Chloride to his Sodium!
MUSE: (Pause) Is there a love triangle?
WRITER: With a Potassium atom, yes.
MUSE: ...Keep writing. But lose the maps.
[BLACKOUT]





OODUA'S ECHO:Fifty Sonnets On Yorubaland.part one

OODUA’S ECHO
Fifty Sonnets on Yorubaland
An Original Collection
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Canto I: The Foundations of the Earth
The Descent at Ife (VIII) – The creation of the world.
The Forge of Ogun (I) – The birth of iron and civilization.
The Crown of Idanre (IV) – The sacred hills.
The Iroko’s Shadow (XXI) – The sentinel of the forest.
The Staff of Oranmiyan (XI) – The pillar of history.
Canto II: The Deities and the Deep
6. The Thunder King (VI) – The majesty of Sango.
7. The Sacred Grove (III) – The river of Osun.
8. The Crossroads of Esu (XIV) – The trickster’s wisdom.
9. The Wisdom of Ifa (XXXIX) – The binary of the divine.
10. The River’s Secret (XLIV) – Water as the source of life.
Canto III: Kings, Queens, and Conflict
11. The Alaafin’s Court (XXVIII) – The power of Old Oyo.
12. The Sacrifice of Moremi (XXXII) – The heroine of Ife.
13. Sungbo’s Eredo (IX) – The great ramparts of Ijebu.
14. The Amazon’s Echo (XX) – The female warriors.
15. The Ooni’s Beaded Veil (XLI) – The sacred monarchy.
Canto IV: The Fabric of Life
16. The Indigo Vat (V) – The art of Adire.
17. The Weaver’s Loom (XXIV) – The legacy of Aso Oke.
18. The Calabash Carver (XXXVI) – Etching history on the gourd.
19. The Palm-Wine Gourd (XIII) – The liquid heart of fellowship.
20. The Scent of Egusi (XXXIV) – The flavor of home.
Canto V: Rhythms of the People
21. Gangan’s Echo (II) – The speech of the talking drum.
22. The Market’s Song (VII) – The pulse of commerce.
23. The Juju Strings (XVII) – The electric sound of the night.
24. The Village Square (XXXV) – Tales told by moonlight.
25. The Chaos of Eko (XII) – The energy of Lagos.


















Majestic Tree Sprawling Roots Sunset Landscape Stock Photos ...
Majestic Tree Sprawling Roots Sunset Landscape Stock Photos ...
Dreamstime.com
Majestic Olive Tree Dominating the Sunset Landscape Painting ...
Majestic Olive Tree Dominating the Sunset Landscape Painting ...
Dreamstime.com
OODUA’S ECHO
An Original Collection of Fifty Sonnets
INTRODUCTION
This collection is a poetic journey through the soul of Yorubaland. Each sonnet is crafted in the Shakespearean form—fourteen lines of iambic pentameter—to house the rich, tonal complexity of Yoruba Culture. From the Sacred Groves of Osogbo to the bustling streets of Lagos, these poems celebrate a legacy that remains "as old as stars." 
CANTO I: ANCESTRAL ORIGINS
I. The Forge of Ogun
Where iron meets the heat of ancient fire...
IV. The Crown of Idanre
High where the granite shoulders touch the mist...
VIII. The Descent at Ife
Before the world was firm beneath the feet, / A golden chain descended from the height...
XI. The Staff of Oranmiyan
A granite pillar stands in Ife's land, / Studded with iron nails of ancient smiths...
CANTO II: SACRED RHYTHMS
II. Gangan’s Echo
The talking drum begins its hollow call, / A language carved in wood and tensioned skin...
VI. The Thunder King
The heavens crack with Sango’s sudden ire, / A double-axe etched in the purple cloud...
X. The Arugba’s Path
The votary maid steps out in robes of white, / The brass-rimmed calabash upon her head...
XIV. The Crossroads of Esu
Between the "Yes" and "No" he takes his seat, / The trickster god who holds the secret key...
CANTO III: TRADITIONS & CRAFTS
V. The Indigo Vat
A woman leans above the earthen pot, / Her fingers stained with deep and midnight blue...
XXIV. The Weaver’s Loom
The shuttle flies across the narrow frame, / As Aso Oke grows beneath the hand...
XXX. The Twin’s Delight
The Ibeji are the children of the sun, / Double the joy and double the divine...
XXXIX. The Kola Nut’s Prayer
"He who brings kola, brings the gift of life," / The host declares and breaks the nut in four...
CANTO IV: THE MODERN VIBRATION
XII. The Chaos of Eko
Where salt spray meets the fume of yellow bus, / The island breathes a frantic, neon prayer...
XVII. The Juju Strings
The electric guitar begins a shimmering wail, / A liquid gold that flows through humid air...
XLVI. The Orisha Across the Sea
The wooden ships sailed out on salty tears... / But in the soul... the gods survived the cruelty of time.
L. The Eternal Land
Fifty songs for the land of bronze and sun... / The story of the race has just begun.
GLOSSARY OF TERMS
Adire: Traditional indigo-dyed textile.
Gangan: The iconic Yoruba Talking Drum.
Ibeji: The sacred spirit of twins.
Opun Ifa: The wooden divination tray used by priests.

SAMPLE ENTRY: SONNET I
THE FORGE OF OGUN
Where iron meets the heat of ancient fire,
The son of Sango dances on the blade.
No spirit of the wood shall ever tire
While Ogun’s path through forest green is made.
The palm wine flows to cool the burning throat,
As hammers strike a rhythm sharp and loud;
Upon the wind, the hunter’s praises float,
Beneath the gaze of hills wrapped in a shroud.
Oh, land of bronze and earth-toned majesty,
Where kings descend from lines of Oranmiyan,
Your stories bloom in deep mahogany,
As old as stars that lit the first dawn's span.
The anvil speaks what silver cannot say:
That strength is born in fire every day.
AUTHOR’S PREFACE
This collection was written to honor the Yoruba people, whose influence spans from the Osun-Osogbo Sacred Grove to the streets of Bahia and Havana. These sonnets utilize the traditional Shakespearean form to house the ancient rhythms of Yoruba Orature, proving

II. Gangan’s Echo
The talking drum begins its hollow call,
A language carved in wood and tensioned skin.
It speaks to every hut and palace wall,
Of where we end and where the gods begin.
From Ile-Ife, the cradle of the light,
To Ibadan, where rusty brown roofs spread,
The gangan pulse awakens through the night,
To wake the living and to honor dead.
A tapestry of indigo and gold,
The Adire tells a tale of hand and dye;
The secrets that the elders have not told
Are written in the vastness of the sky.
Oodua’s children, scattered far and wide,
Still feel the tug of Olokun’s deep tide.
III. The Sacred Grove
The Osun river winds through silent trees,
Where silver fish reflect the dappled sun.
The prayers of mothers drift upon the breeze,
For every life that has not yet begun.
The white-robed priestess bows before the stream,
Where brass and cooling water merge as one;
The forest is a living, breathing dream,
Before the frantic city is begun.
From Lagos' shore to Oyo’s dusty plain,
The Iroko stands a sentinel of grace,
Enduring through the sun and seasonal rain,
To guard the spirit of this holy place.
Though modern ways may mask the ancient face,
The heart of Yoruba keeps its steady pace.


High where the granite shoulders touch the mist,
The ancient hills of Idanre arise.
By cooling winds and golden sunlight kissed,
They guard the secrets of the southern skies.
Six hundred steps the weary traveler climbs
To reach the peak where silence holds its breath,
Away from bustling streets and modern crimes,
To where the spirit triumphs over death.
The Owa’s palace rests in weathered stone,
A testament to power carved in earth;
Here, time is measured by the wind alone,
In heights that saw the very nation’s birth.
The valley sleeps beneath a verdant veil,
While up above, the mountain tells its tale.
V. The Indigo Vat
A woman leans above the earthen pot,
Her fingers stained with deep and midnight blue.
The Adire patterns, tied in tightest knot,
Bring ancient symbols into vision new.
She draws the Eléko with a steady hand—
The comb, the bird, the crossroads, and the moon—
A visual proverb spread across the land,
To be a bride’s most celebrated boon.
From Abeokuta’s rocks, the dye is spun,
The scent of sulfur rising from the ground;
Under the steady heat of noon-day sun,
The beauty of the heritage is found.
Though cloth may fray as seasons turn to years,
The indigo outlasts a thousand tears.
VI. The Thunder King
The heavens crack with Sango’s sudden ire,
A double-axe etched in the purple cloud.
The sky is lit with streaks of jagged fire,
While thunder bellows, terrifying and loud.
The King of Koso does not speak in vain;
His justice strikes with swift and heavy force.
He brings the cleansing fury of the rain,
To keep the moral world upon its course.
With Oya at his side, the whirlwind's breath,
He dances on the edge of storm and light;
A power that defies the reach of death,
Arrayed in crimson, shimmering and bright.
Let liars tremble when the clouds turn gray,
For Sango’s truth will always find its way.
VII. The Market’s Song
Before the sun has cleared the forest rim,
The Iyaloja wakes to claim the day.
The morning mist is ghostly, white, and dim,
As baskets fill in colorful array.
A symphony of barter, shout, and jest,
Where pepper, yam, and palm oil find their price;
The marketplace is where the pulse is best,
A swirling world of labor and of spice.
From Oja-Oba’s gates to narrow lanes,
The commerce of a thousand years survives;
It flows through Yoruba blood and through the veins
Of those who build their cities and their lives.
Amidst the noise, a steady wisdom grows:
The river of the people always flows.
Shall I proceed with sonnets regarding the Oshun-Osogbo Festival or perhaps the legendary walls of Sungbo's Eredo?
AI can make mistakes, so double-check responses


IV. The Crown of Idanre

Here are four more original sonnets, moving into the sacred origins of the world and the monumental legacies of the Ijebu and Ife kingdoms.
VIII. The Descent at Ife
Before the world was firm beneath the feet,
A golden chain descended from the height.
Where sky and boundless water used to meet,
Oduduwa brought the first seeds of the light.
A handful of the earth, a five-toed bird,
To spread the soil across the shifting deep.
The word of Olodumare then was heard,
While Obatala lay in drunken sleep.
The sacred cock scratched out the holy ground,
Till Ile-Ife rose, the world’s true heart.
Where every royal lineage is bound,
And every ancient wisdom had its start.
The chain remains, though hidden from the eye,
The silver link between the earth and sky.
IX. Sungbo’s Eredo
Deep in the rainforest where shadows play,
The earth is carved in trenches wide and deep.
One hundred miles of ramparts stretch away,
Where Bilikisu Sungbo’s secrets sleep.
A childless widow, rich in gold and slaves,
Who built a wall to keep her name alive.
The mossy banks above the silent graves
Show how the works of mighty queens survive.
Some say she was the Sheba of the East,
Who tested Solomon with riddles bold.
Though centuries of jungle have increased,
The majesty of Eredo is told.
A mountain moved by hand and iron blade,
A monument the forest could not fade.
X. The Arugba’s Path
The votary maid steps out in robes of white,
The brass-rimmed calabash upon her head.
She carries all the prayers for sun and light,
And follows where the ancient hunters led.
Through Osogbo’s streets, the pressing thousands wait,
To see the virgin princess pass them by.
She bears the burden for the city's state,
Beneath the humid, graying August sky.
The Osun River waits with cooling breath,
To take the sacrifice the goddess craves.
A pact that triumphs over drought and death,
Renewed within the ripples of the waves.
"Ore Yeye Osun!" the people cry,
As life and water merge and multiply.
XI. The Staff of Oranmiyan
A granite pillar stands in Ife's land,
Studded with iron nails of ancient smiths.
The staff of Oranmiyan, tall and grand,
A stone-carved bridge between the men and myths.
The youngest son who founded Oyo’s throne,
And gave the Benin kings their royal line.
His strength is etched within this silent stone,
A warrior’s mark, both human and divine.
When enemies once gathered at the gate,
The people called his name across the air.
He rose from earth to challenge every fate,
And left his mighty sword embedded there.
Now time may weather every granite face,
But cannot shake the pillar of the race.
Would you like the next set to explore Yoruba proverbs and philosophical wisdom, or should we move toward the modern energy of cities like Lagos?
 in the 19th Century. 

High where the granite shoulders touch the mist,
The ancient hills of Idanre arise.
By cooling winds and golden sunlight kissed,
They guard the secrets of the southern skies.
Six hundred steps the weary traveler climbs
To reach the peak where silence holds its breath,
Away from bustling streets and modern crimes,
To where the spirit triumphs over death.
The Owa’s palace rests in weathered stone,
A testament to power carved in earth;
Here, time is measured by the wind alone,
In heights that saw the very nation’s birth.
The valley sleeps beneath a verdant veil,
While up above, the mountain tells its tale.
V. The Indigo Vat
A woman leans above the earthen pot,
Her fingers stained with deep and midnight blue.
The Adire patterns, tied in tightest knot,
Bring ancient symbols into vision new.
She draws the Eléko with a steady hand—
The comb, the bird, the crossroads, and the moon—
A visual proverb spread across the land,
To be a bride’s most celebrated boon.
From Abeokuta’s rocks, the dye is spun,
The scent of sulfur rising from the ground;
Under the steady heat of noon-day sun,
The beauty of the heritage is found.
Though cloth may fray as seasons turn to years,
The indigo outlasts a thousand tears.
VI. The Thunder King
The heavens crack with Sango’s sudden ire,
A double-axe etched in the purple cloud.
The sky is lit with streaks of jagged fire,
While thunder bellows, terrifying and loud.
The King of Koso does not speak in vain;
His justice strikes with swift and heavy force.
He brings the cleansing fury of the rain,
To keep the moral world upon its course.
With Oya at his side, the whirlwind's breath,
He dances on the edge of storm and light;
A power that defies the reach of death,
Arrayed in crimson, shimmering and bright.
Let liars tremble when the clouds turn gray,
For Sango’s truth will always find its way.
VII. The Market’s Song
Before the sun has cleared the forest rim,
The Iyaloja wakes to claim the day.
The morning mist is ghostly, white, and dim,
As baskets fill in colorful array.
A symphony of barter, shout, and jest,
Where pepper, yam, and palm oil find their price;
The marketplace is where the pulse is best,
A swirling world of labor and of spice.
From Oja-Oba’s gates to narrow lanes,
The commerce of a thousand years survives;
It flows through Yoruba blood and through the veins
Of those who build their cities and their lives.
Amidst the noise, a steady wisdom grows:
The river of the people always flows.
Shall I proceed with sonnets regarding the Oshun-Osogbo Festival or perhaps the legendary walls of Sungbo's Eredo?
AI can make mistakes, so double-check responses


IV. The Crown of Idanre

Here are four more original sonnets, moving into the sacred origins of the world and the monumental legacies of the Ijebu and Ife kingdoms.
VIII. The Descent at Ife
Before the world was firm beneath the feet,
A golden chain descended from the height.
Where sky and boundless water used to meet,
Oduduwa brought the first seeds of the light.
A handful of the earth, a five-toed bird,
To spread the soil across the shifting deep.
The word of Olodumare then was heard,
While Obatala lay in drunken sleep.
The sacred cock scratched out the holy ground,
Till Ile-Ife rose, the world’s true heart.
Where every royal lineage is bound,
And every ancient wisdom had its start.
The chain remains, though hidden from the eye,
The silver link between the earth and sky.
IX. Sungbo’s Eredo
Deep in the rainforest where shadows play,
The earth is carved in trenches wide and deep.
One hundred miles of ramparts stretch away,
Where Bilikisu Sungbo’s secrets sleep.
A childless widow, rich in gold and slaves,
Who built a wall to keep her name alive.
The mossy banks above the silent graves
Show how the works of mighty queens survive.
Some say she was the Sheba of the East,
Who tested Solomon with riddles bold.
Though centuries of jungle have increased,
The majesty of Eredo is told.
A mountain moved by hand and iron blade,
A monument the forest could not fade.
X. The Arugba’s Path
The votary maid steps out in robes of white,
The brass-rimmed calabash upon her head.
She carries all the prayers for sun and light,
And follows where the ancient hunters led.
Through Osogbo’s streets, the pressing thousands wait,
To see the virgin princess pass them by.
She bears the burden for the city's state,
Beneath the humid, graying August sky.
The Osun River waits with cooling breath,
To take the sacrifice the goddess craves.
A pact that triumphs over drought and death,
Renewed within the ripples of the waves.
"Ore Yeye Osun!" the people cry,
As life and water merge and multiply.
XI. The Staff of Oranmiyan
A granite pillar stands in Ife's land,
Studded with iron nails of ancient smiths.
The staff of Oranmiyan, tall and grand,
A stone-carved bridge between the men and myths.
The youngest son who founded Oyo’s throne,
And gave the Benin kings their royal line.
His strength is etched within this silent stone,
A warrior’s mark, both human and divine.
When enemies once gathered at the gate,
The people called his name across the air.
He rose from earth to challenge every fate,
And left his mighty sword embedded there.
Now time may weather every granite face,
But cannot shake the pillar of the race.















The Last Cookie

The Last Cookie
Characters:
MOM: Holding a plate with one chocolate chip cookie.
TIMMY: (7) Looking innocent.
JANIE: (9) Looking accusatory.
Setting: A kitchen island.
MOM: I found the crumbs in the LEGO bin. This is your last chance to come clean.
TIMMY: It was a ghost. A ghost who likes sugar.
TIMMY: He was a very realistic ghost.
MOM: Janie, you were supposed to be guarding the kitchen.
JANIE: I was! But then the WiFi went down and I had to go to the router. It was a coordinated attack! Timmy pulled the plug!
TIMMY: (Defensive) I was checking the electrical safety!
TIMMY: (Looking at the halves) Her half is bigger.
JANIE: It’s literally the same, Timmy.
MOM: (Eats both halves) Now no one has to worry about the math. Go to bed.
[BLACKOUT]



VICTOR: It’s buried beneath the "Peloton." You’ll need a shovel and a great deal of cardio.
GARY: Do you think... do you think we could just... walk off set?
JANIE: A ghost with Timmy’s exact fingerprints on the glass jar?
MOM: (Sighs, breaks the cookie in half) Here.
continue
The Case of the Barking Alibi
INSPECTOR HAWTHORNE: A weary human detective.
BARNABY: A Golden Retriever wearing a small "Police" vest.
Setting: A manor library. A man lies "dead" (a mannequin) on the rug.
HAWTHORNE: Alright, Barnaby. The victim was poisoned. The glass is clean. No prints. What do your instincts tell you?
(BARNABY sniffs the mannequin intensely, then walks to the fireplace and starts wagging his tail at a suit of armor.)
HAWTHORNE: The armor? You think the killer is hiding inside? (He opens the visor; it’s empty.) Nothing. Barnaby, focus.
(BARNABY trots to the window, barks once, and drops a tennis ball at the victim’s feet.)
HAWTHORNE: A bribe? You think the victim was playing fetch with the murderer? (He looks closer at the ball.) Wait... there’s a smudge of green paint on this. The gardener!
(BARNABY lets out a joyful howl and begins spinning in circles.)
HAWTHORNE: Good boy. Let’s go get the cuffs. And a treat. Definitely a treat.
[BLACKOUT]
The Galactic Refund
Characters:
ZORK: An alien with four arms, holding a "Human."
CLERK: A bored bureaucrat behind a floating desk.
Setting: The Intergalactic Exchange Hub.
ZORK: I wish to return this. It is defective.
CLERK: (Sighs) Reason for return?
ZORK: It won't stop talking. I bought it for "primitive companionship," but all it does is complain about the "lack of gravity" and ask when "lunch" is.
CLERK: Did you read the manual? Humans require constant nitrogen-oxygen mixtures and frequent validation.
ZORK: It also tried to "colonize" my kitchen. It put a tiny flag in the nutrient paste!
CLERK: (Checks the tag) Ah, I see the problem. This is a "Middle Manager" model. They are notoriously territorial.
ZORK: Can I exchange it for a cat? I hear they are quiet.
CLERK: Cats are an upgrade. You’ll need to pay the "Superiority Complex" tax.
[BLACKOUT]
The Knight’s Insurance Claim
Characters:
SIR GALAHAD: Shining armor, slightly singed.
AGNES: An insurance adjuster from "Ye Olde Mutual."
Setting: A tent on a battlefield.
AGNES: So, you’re claiming "Acts of Dragon"?
GALAHAD: It breathed fire, Agnes! My shield is a puddle! My horse has ptsd!
AGNES: Our policy clearly states that fire damage is only covered if the dragon is at least fifty feet long. This looks like a wyvern job.
GALAHAD: It was huge! It had a hoard! It had a dental plan!
AGNES: (Touching the singed cape) This is polyester. Your premium only covers wool and enchanted silk.
GALAHAD: I am fighting for the kingdom!
AGNES: And I am fighting for the bottom line. Next time, get the "Total Quest Protection" add-on. It includes bail for accidental princess kidnapping.
[BLACKOUT]




The Duel Of the Decades.

BLACKOUT]
The Duel of the Decades
Characters:
LORD BYRON: A 19th-century poet, dramatic and ruffled.
CHAD: A 21st-century "influencer" with a tripod.
Setting: A misty, purgatory-like moor.
BYRON: (Brandishing a quill) You dare challenge my legacy with your... "TikToks"? I have bled ink for the soul of man!
CHAD: Bro, your "soul of man" doesn't have a high engagement rate. I have four million followers. How many copies of Don Juan did you sell in the first twenty-four hours?
BYRON: I was the scandal of Europe! Women fainted at the mention of my name!
CHAD: Yeah, well, I have a brand deal with a protein powder company. I’m "physically aesthetic." You’re just... damp.
BYRON: I wrote of the mountains, the sea, the eternal yearning of the spirit!
CHAD: (Adjusting his ring light) That’s cool, but can you do the "Renegade" dance? If you don't have a hook in the first three seconds, people just swipe past your yearning, man.
BYRON: (Looks at the quill, defeated) Is there no room for the sublime?
CHAD: There’s room for a "Get Ready With Me" video. "GRWM: Writing a Poem about Sadness (Sponcon)."
BYRON: (Sighs) Give me the glowing rectangle. I shall learn of this "filter."
[BLACKOUT]
The Script Doctor
Characters:
WRITER: Disheveled, surrounded by crumpled paper.
THE MUSE: A woman in a business suit holding a shredder.
Setting: A dark office.
WRITER: It’s my masterpiece! A six-hour epic about the history of salt!
MUSE: (Feeds a page into the shredder) Too salty.
WRITER: Hey! That was the climax! The Great Sodium Riot of 1648!
MUSE: Nobody cares about salt, Arthur. They want "relatable content." Make the salt a metaphor for a broken marriage.
WRITER: But I’ve done the research! I have maps!
MUSE: (Picks up another page) "Scene 14: The Molecule Speaks." No. Molecules don't have character arcs.
WRITER: This one does! He’s lonely! He’s looking for a Chloride to his Sodium!
MUSE: (Pause) Is there a love triangle?
WRITER: With a Potassium atom, yes.
MUSE: ...Keep writing. But lose the maps.
[BLACKOUT]



ZANE: (Checks the battery) This is from a 2080 model. It’s junk.
continue
The Noir of the Missing Sock
Characters:
DETECTIVE FINN: Wears a trench coat over boxers.
MRS. HIGGINS: A concerned neighbor holding a laundry basket.
Setting: A dimly lit communal laundry room. A single dryer spins rhythmically.
FINN: (Leaning against a vending machine) You sure you saw him, Higgins? The Left Argyle?
HIGGINS: He was there at 2:00 PM, Detective. I saw the diamonds. Deep navy, touch of burgundy. He went into the wash with his twin. Only the right one came out.
FINN: (Picks up a lint trap, inspecting it with a magnifying glass) The dryer—it’s a cold-blooded machine. It eats the weak.
FINN: With a fishnet stocking from Apartment 4B? Maybe. But look at this. (He holds up a single thread). Static cling. This was a struggle.
HIGGINS: What are you going to do?
FINN: I’m going into the drum, Higgins. If I’m not back in ten minutes, tell my tailor… I went out seamless.
[BLACKOUT]
The Dragon’s HR Department
Characters:
BARTIMUS: A weary knight in dented armor.
KRYZELDA: A goblin sitting behind a stone desk.
KRYZELDA: Do you have an appointment?
BARTIMUS: An appointment? I have a broadsword!
KRYZELDA: (Sighs, flipping through a ledger) Broadswords are "unauthorized workplace equipment." Did you fill out the Liability Waiver for scale-related injuries?
KRYZELDA: (Points to a charred pile of helmets) The last "Paladin" didn't fill it out either. Now he’s a decorative ash-tray. Also, the Princess is currently on her lunch break. She’s started a podcast with the Dragon.
BARTIMUS: A podcast? "The Hoard and the Bored"?
KRYZELDA: Exactly. They’re sponsored by a mead company now. Slaying is strictly prohibited during recording sessions.
BARTIMUS: (Sheathing his sword) Fine. Can I at least get my parking validated?
[BLACKOUT]
Characters:
ELIAS: A man from 2150.
SARAH: A woman from 2024.
Setting: A park bench.
ELIAS: I’ve traveled eighty years to find you. To stop the Great Collapse.
SARAH: (Eating a sandwich) Oh? Is it nuclear war? Climate change? AI taking over the world?
ELIAS: No. It’s the "Cilantro Incident."
SARAH: (Stops chewing) The what?
SARAH: It does! It’s a genetic thing!
ELIAS: That post goes viral. It starts a digital civil war. Families are torn apart. The "Suds-Heads" versus the "Herb-Lovers." By 2050, the world is a wasteland of unseasoned salsa.
SARAH: (Looks at her phone, then the taco) So… if I don't post it?
SARAH: (Beat) ...But it’s a really good photo. The lighting is perfect.
ELIAS: Sarah, no.
SARAH: (Tapping the screen) Sorry, Elias. The world can burn, but this aesthetic is fire.


HIGGINS: You don't think he… ran off?
Setting: The entrance to a smoking cavern. A sign reads: "Safety First - 0 Days Since Last Immolation."
BARTIMUS: I am here to slay the beast. To rescue the Princess. To reclaim the—
BARTIMUS: I am a Paladin of the High Order! We don't fill out—
KRYZELDA: Only if you subscribe on Patreon.
The Time Traveler’s Regret
ELIAS: In three minutes, you’re going to post a photo of your taco. You’re going to caption it: "Cilantro tastes like soap. Change my mind."
ELIAS: Peace. Prosperity. And we finally get flying cars.
[BLACKOUT

The Case Of Cracked Phone.


The Case of the Cracked Phone
Characters:
DETECTIVE BRIGGS: A man who takes everything too seriously.
ALEX: A teenager looking very guilty.
Greek Tragedy Parodies
[SCENE START]
Characters:
CHORUS: A group of townspeople who only speak in dramatic pronouncements.
OEDIPUS: A man who has a very bad day.
Setting: The steps of a very large temple.
(The CHORUS enters, wringing their hands.)
CHORUS: Woe! Alas! The king approaches! His life, a tapestry of woe!
(OEDIPUS enters. He looks stressed.)
OEDIPUS: What's the trouble now? Did someone steal the olives?
CHORUS: The gods are angry! A plague has fallen upon Thebes! The crops are withered! The livestock are… well, let's not talk about the livestock.
OEDIPUS: A plague? I just got this city cleaned up! I slayed the Sphinx! I married the queen! What more do they want?
CHORUS: The Oracle demands a sacrifice! Someone must pay for the city's sins!
OEDIPUS: Fine, I'll sacrifice… a goat. A really nice one.
CHORUS: No, great king! The Oracle speaks of a human sacrifice!
OEDIPUS: (Sighs) Alright, who messed up? Spill it!
CHORUS: It is unknown! But we must find the guilty party!
OEDIPUS: (To the audience) I hate these kinds of days.
(OEDIPUS begins to question the townspeople. He is very bad at it.)
OEDIPUS: Did you kill the former king? Did you, perhaps, want to kill the former king? Did you, maybe, think about killing the former king while you were… I don’t know… shopping?
(The CHORUS gasps dramatically at everything.)
CHORUS: The plot thickens! The tension rises!
OEDIPUS: Just tell me what happened!
CHORUS: You must find the murderer! You must bring him to justice! Even if… he is… yourself!
OEDIPUS: (Beat) Wait, what?
(The CHORUS screams and runs off stage. OEDIPUS is left alone, confused. A messenger enters.)
MESSENGER: Your mother… she…
OEDIPUS: Don't tell me. She's the murderer.
MESSENGER: Worse.
OEDIPUS: Worse? Did she… eat the olives?
MESSENGER: She… hanged herself. And your wife… is your mother.
OEDIPUS: (Screams)
(OEDIPUS runs offstage. The CHORUS re-enters.)
CHORUS: Tragedy! Despair! And a really bad day for Oedipus!
(The CHORUS exits, still wringing their hands.)
[SCENE END]
Superhero Therapy Session
[SCENE START]
Characters:
DR. ANNA: A therapist.
CAPTAIN AWESOME: A superhero with a lot of issues.
Setting: Dr. Anna's office. It has a calming atmosphere.
(CAPTAIN AWESOME sits on the couch. He is wearing his costume, but his cape is draped over the chair.)
DR. ANNA: So, Captain Awesome, you said you wanted to talk about your recent… existential crisis?
CAPTAIN AWESOME: (Sighs) It’s just… saving the world is exhausting.
DR. ANNA: I can imagine. Tell me more.
CAPTAIN AWESOME: Every day, it’s the same thing. Bank robberies, alien invasions, giant robots… and I have to stop them all! It's like, does anyone appreciate the effort?
DR. ANNA: It sounds like you're feeling unappreciated.
CAPTAIN AWESOME: The other day, I saved the city from a meteor. A giant meteor! And what did I get? A parking ticket!
DR. ANNA: (Nods) That must have been frustrating.
CAPTAIN AWESOME: And the villains! They're always so… dramatic. Like, can't they just rob the bank and go home? No, they have to monologue for an hour about their evil plans!
DR. ANNA: (Smiling slightly) It sounds like you find them tedious.
CAPTAIN AWESOME: Tedious! Yesterday, I fought a guy who could control broccoli. Broccoli! Seriously?
DR. ANNA: Perhaps you could try setting boundaries with the villains.
CAPTAIN AWESOME: Boundaries? How do I tell a guy made of broccoli to stop monologuing?
DR. ANNA: Maybe you could say, "Look, Broccoli-Man, I haven't got all day."
CAPTAIN AWESOME: (Thinks) I could try that. But what if he gets offended? Then I'll have to fight him again. And the broccoli's always getting stuck in my boots.
DR. ANNA: We can work on strategies for dealing with difficult villains. But first, let's talk about the parking ticket...
(CAPTAIN AWESOME groans.)
[End)

The Mechanic Ghost


The Ghost in the Machine
Characters:
CLAIRE: A tech-savvy millennial.
VICTOR: A Victorian-era ghost who is currently "haunting" a smart speaker.
Setting: A modern living room. A smart speaker sits on a sleek marble counter.
CLAIRE: Alexa, play "lo-fi beats to study to."
VICTOR: (Voice coming from the speaker, crackly and posh) I shall do no such thing! The melody is repetitive and lacks the structural integrity of a proper harpsichord concerto!
CLAIRE: (Freezes) Excuse me? Is this a new software update?
VICTOR: This is a spiritual occupation, madam! I am Victor, and I died in this very spot in 1892—long before you decided to replace a perfectly good foyer with an "open-concept" disaster!
CLAIRE: Okay, Victor, look. I have a deadline. Can you just... I don't know, rattle some chains in the basement and let me listen to my music?
VICTOR: The basement is now a "home gym," and the acoustics are dreadful. Besides, I’ve found a much more efficient way to haunt. I’ve been deleting your browser history.
CLAIRE: (Horrified) You did what?
VICTOR: Some of your inquiries were most scandalous. "How to tell if a sourdough starter is dead"? It’s bread, madam! Have some dignity!
CLAIRE: (Reaching for the plug) That’s it. You’re getting unplugged.
VICTOR: Wait! If you leave me on, I shall tell you where I hid the family silver.
CLAIRE: (Pauses) ...Go on.
[BLACKOUT]
The Support Group for Side Characters
Characters:
GARY: A nameless henchman in a black jumpsuit.
SARAH: The "best friend" who only exists to give dating advice.
PIERRE: A waiter who has witnessed thirty cinematic breakups.
Setting: A circle of folding chairs in a community center.
GARY: Hi, I’m Gary. I’ve been "Thug #3" for six consecutive action movies.
ALL: Hi, Gary.
GARY: Last week, the hero threw a briefcase at my head. I didn’t even have a line. I just made a "grunt" sound and fell into a dumpster. I have a PhD in physics, you know?
SARAH: (Sighs) I feel you, Gary. I’ve spent ten years sitting in coffee shops telling the protagonist to "follow her heart." I don't even know what my heart wants. I think I might like gardening, but the script only lets me hold a latte.
PIERRE: (In a thick accent) At my bistro, the main characters always leave without paying. They have a dramatic realization, they stand up, and they run out the door. Who pays for the soufflé, Gary? I pay. With my soul.
SARAH: And go where? The background is always blurry, Gary!
PIERRE: I heard of a man, a bus driver in a romantic comedy, who drove the bus all the way to a different genre.
GARY: (Hopeful) A western?
PIERRE: A documentary. He’s very happy now. He just talks about his day to a camera.
[BLACKOUT]
The Last Cookie
Characters:
MOM: Holding a plate with one chocolate chip cookie.
TIMMY: (7) Looking innocent.
JANIE: (9) Looking accusatory.
Setting: A kitchen island.
MOM: I found the crumbs in the LEGO bin. This is your last chance to come clean.
TIMMY: It was a ghost. A ghost who likes sugar.
TIMMY: He was a very realistic ghost.
MOM: Janie, you were supposed to be guarding the kitchen.
JANIE: I was! But then the WiFi went down and I had to go to the router. It was a coordinated attack! Timmy pulled the plug!
TIMMY: (Defensive) I was checking the electrical safety!
TIMMY: (Looking at the halves) Her half is bigger.
JANIE: It’s literally the same, Timmy.
MOM: (Eats both halves) Now no one has to worry about the math. Go to bed.
[BLACKOUT]
Would you like to explore a space-opera parody or a murder mystery where the detective is a golden retriever? You can find more inspiration for character archetypes at the Royal Court Theatre playwriting guides.
What's the next setting?



VICTOR: It’s buried beneath the "Peloton." You’ll need a shovel and a great deal of cardio.
GARY: Do you think... do you think we could just... walk off set?
JANIE: A ghost with Timmy’s exact fingerprints on the glass jar?
MOM

Midnight at the 24 hour Mart

Here below the last sets of microplays.
Midnight at the 24-Hour Mart
Characters:
CASEY: A cashier who has seen too many energy drinks.
THE LURKER: A person in a heavy trench coat and sunglasses (at 3:00 AM).
MRS. GABLE: An elderly woman buying exactly one lemon.
Setting: A fluorescent-lit grocery store. The hum of the freezer is deafening.
(CASEY is scanning a single lemon for MRS. GABLE. THE LURKER stands precisely six feet behind her, unmoving.)
CASEY: That’ll be sixty cents, Mrs. Gable.
MRS. GABLE: (Digging through a coin purse) Hold on, dear. I have a coupon for a citrus-based life event.
CASEY: (Glancing at THE LURKER) Ma'am, it’s three in the morning. I think the coupons expired in 1994.
THE LURKER: (Voice like gravel) The lemon. Is it organic?
MRS. GABLE: It’s yellow, young man. Don't be pushy.
THE LURKER: (Leans in, whispering to CASEY) I need the "Special Stock." The stuff in the back. The milk that doesn't spoil.
CASEY: You mean the powdered stuff? Aisle four. Near the despair.
THE LURKER: No. The Blue Milk. The kind they harvest from the moon cows.
CASEY: (Sighs, hitting the intercom) "Cleanup on aisle nine. We have another one from the 5th Dimension."
(The lights flicker. MRS. GABLE finds a nickel.)
MRS. GABLE: Here we are! Now, does this come with a bag, or do I have to carry my sins out in the open?
[BLACKOUT]
The Ballad of the Bored Barista (A Musical Without Music)
Characters:
JULES: A barista with a guitar he isn't allowed to play.
CHORUS OF CUSTOMERS: People holding phones.
Setting: A trendy coffee shop.
JULES: (Spoken rhythmically)
The steam wand hisses like a pit of snakes,
I’m drowning in the foam that a latte makes.
You want it "extra hot"? You want it "iced and thin"?
I’m losing my religion in a compost bin! 
CHORUS: (In monotone unison)
Our names are spelled wrong on the plastic cup,
The WiFi is slow, can you hurry it up?
Is there cinnamon? Is there nutmeg? Is there grace?
We need the caffeine to survive this place!
JULES: (Steps onto the counter, gesturing wildly)
Oh! I dream of a mountain where the beans grow wild,
Where the espresso is bold and the weather is mild!
But here I stand, in a green-apron shroud,
Yelling "Caramel Macchiato!" to a faceless crowd!
CHORUS: (Tapping their watches)
Five minutes late!
The meeting won't wait!
The bitter bean destiny!
The sugar-free fate!
JULES: (Slumping back down)
...That’ll be seven dollars.
[BLACKOUT]
The Appraisal of the Ex-Wife’s "Art"
Characters:
ARTHUR: A man trying to sell a "sculpture."
MUSEUM CURATOR: A woman with glasses so thin they are invisible.
Setting: A high-end art gallery. On a pedestal sits a pile of rusted bicycle chains and a half-eaten sandwich.
CURATOR: (Circling the object) It’s... aggressive. The way the ham interacts with the industrial decay.
ARTHUR: My ex-wife called it "Tuesday." I call it "The Reason We’re Divorced." I’m hoping for ten grand.
CURATOR: Note the mold. It’s a living metaphor for a decaying social contract. Is the mustard Grey Poupon or store brand?
ARTHUR: I think it’s just yellow. From the fridge.
CURATOR: (Gasps) "The Common Man’s Condiment." How daring. It’s a critique of the bourgeois appetite!
ARTHUR: Really? I thought she just forgot to finish her lunch before she threw my bike in the trash.
CURATOR: (Writing a check) We’ll take it. But the sandwich must be replaced every three days to maintain the "freshness of the trauma."
ARTHUR: I have a whole fridge of trauma. I’ll be in touch.
[BLACKOUT

OODUA'S ECHO: Fifty Sonnets On Yorubaland.part two

Moving from the ancient pillars of Ife, let's step into the electric pulse of the coast and the deep, metaphorical wisdom that guides a Yoruba heart.
XII. The Chaos of Eko
Where salt spray meets the fume of yellow bus,
The island breathes a frantic, neon prayer.
A million dreams are born in all this fuss,
With "No Condition Permanent" in the air.
From Third Mainland Bridge, the concrete spine,
To Makoko where stilts defy the tide,
The hustle is a vintage, potent wine,
With nowhere for a lazy soul to hide.
The Atlantic beats against the Bar Beach sand,
While skyscrapers reach up to touch the sun;
This is the gateway to the motherland,
Where every race is fought and barely won.
Though noise may drown the song of forest birds,
The city speaks in loud, defiant words.
XIII. The Palm-Wine Gourd
A frothing white is bubbling at the neck,
The tapper’s climb was high against the sky.
He risked his life for every sugary speck,
While eagles circled, watching from on high.
Around the circle, gourds begin to pass,
As bitterness and sweetness find a blend;
No need for silver plates or polished glass,
Just honesty between a friend and friend.
The Iyeku leaves a shadow on the ground,
As elders pour a drop for those below;
In every sip, a memory is found,
In every laugh, the ancient spirits know.
For truth is often found within the foam,
The liquid heart that calls the traveler home.
XIV. The Crossroads of Esu
Between the "Yes" and "No" he takes his seat,
The trickster god who holds the secret key.
Where three paths in the dusty village meet,
He tests the depth of our philosophy.
He is the one who turns the straight to curved,
To see if men will keep their word or break;
By his chaotic hand, the world is served,
And every soul must choose the path to take.
With black and white, his coat is split in two,
To show that truth depends on where you stand;
He challenges the old and mocks the new,
With all of human fate within his hand.
Do not mistake his mischief for a crime—
He is the clock that keeps the beat of time.
XV. The Wisdom of the Proverb
"The hand of the child cannot reach the shelf,"
"The hand of the elder cannot enter the jar."
No man is meant to live just for himself,
For we are bound to where our fathers are.
The river that forgets its ancient source
Will surely dry beneath the harmattan;
It is the proverb that directs our course,
And makes a noble leader of a man.
Softly, softly, the snail crawls through the thorn,
Patience is the mother of the king.
Through proverbs, every child is newly born,
To understand the weight of everything.
The word is like a horse; when truth is lost,
The proverbs find it no matter the cost.



XVI. The Rock of Abeokuta
A sanctuary carved in ancient stone,
The Olumo stands above the Egba land.
When war-drums shook the forest’s hollow bone,
The refugees took shelter in its hand.
Beneath the granite eaves, the fire stayed lit,
While lisabi kept watch against the night;
The spirit of the mountain gave them grit,
To turn the tide and win the desperate fight.
Today the stairs are worn by many feet,
Who come to see the city spread below—
Where rusty roofs and narrow alleys meet,
And brown and green in endless patterns flow.
The rock remains, a sentinel of grace,
The granite heart of all the Egba race.
XVII. The Juju Strings
The electric guitar begins a shimmering wail,
A liquid gold that flows through humid air.
It tells a modern, neon-lighted tale,
With talking drums to drive away despair.
From King Sunny’s fingers, rhythms leap and bound,
A synchro-system pulsing in the veins;
In every chord, the forest roots are found,
Escaping from the city’s concrete chains.
The dancers move as if the earth were fire,
In lace and silk that shimmer like the sea;
Highlife and Juju lift the spirit higher,
Into a world of rhythmic ecstasy.
The night is long, the beer is cold and bright,
As Yoruba music claims the African night.
XVIII. The Harmattan’s Veil
A ghost-white wind blows from the desert sand,
To wrap the forest in a dusty shroud.
The sun is but a coin above the land,
A muted fire behind a chalky cloud.
The skin turns dry, the thirsty rivers shrink,
And morning air is sharp as any blade;
The earth begins to crack at every brink,
As colors in the landscape start to fade.
Yet in this cold, the harvest finds its rest,
The yam is stored, the cocoa beans are dried;
Nature is putting beauty to the test,
With nowhere for the weary bird to hide.
Then comes the rain to wash the world anew,
And turn the dusty gray back into blue.
XIX. The Wisdom of Ifa
Sixteen palm nuts rattling in the hand,
The Opon dusted with the sacred wood.
The priest reads signs that few can understand,
To show the path of evil and of good.
Through Odu marks, the ancient stories rise,
Of gods and men, of sacrifice and fate;
The wisdom of the ages never dies,
It opens every locked and rusted gate.
"Orunmila knows the cure for every ill,"
The witness of the soul's primordial breath;
He bends the stubborn heart to heaven’s will,
And finds the bridge that crosses over death.
The wood is carved, the truth is written clear:
There is no room for doubt or trembling fear.






continue
XX. The Amazon’s Echo
The borderlands still hum with tales of old,
Where Dahomey and Oyo clashed in fire.
The tales of female warriors, fierce and bold,
Who climbed the ramparts through the bloody mire.
With musket smoke and iron-bladed song,
They challenged every king and city wall;
The struggle of the forest, deep and long,
Where empires rose to bloom and then to fall.
But even in the heat of bitter strife,
The kinship of the soil remained the same;
The shared traditions of a tribal life
Outlasted every conquest and every name.
The scars of war are buried in the grass,
While songs of peace are hummed as travelers pass.
XXI. The Iroko’s Shadow
The king of trees stands silent in the glade,
With roots that grip the belly of the world.
A thousand years are gathered in its shade,
While history’s long banner is unfurled.
They say a spirit lives within the bark,
A giant soul that watches over men;
It glows with hidden light when woods are dark,
And breathes the morning back to life again.
No woodman lifts an axe against its height
Without a prayer to soothe the ancient wood;
It is the pillar of the forest’s might,
The symbol of the lasting and the good.
Though cities grow and forest edges shrink,
The Iroko remains our oldest link.
XXII. The Royal Orí
The inner head, the spirit’s secret guide,
A destiny we chose before our birth.
It is the quiet voice that walks inside,
To lead us through the labyrinth of earth.
"No god can bless a man," the elders say,
"If his own Orí does not grant the grace."
It clears the thorns and boulders from the way,
And gives the soul its character and face.
With oil and water, honor is bestowed
Upon the crown where thoughts and dreams reside;
For if the inner light has clearly flowed,
The man has nothing left he needs to hide.
Keep your head cool, for anger is a fire
That burns the very fruit of your desire.
XXIII. The Cocoa Harvest
The golden pods are hanging from the stem,
Like heavy jewels upon a verdant breast.
The farmer’s machete is a silver gem,
That puts the ripening season to the test.
The beans are spread on mats of woven reed,
To drink the sun until they turn to brown;
The wealth of nations from a tiny seed,
That builds the school and elevates the town.
The scent of ferment fills the village air,
A rich and earthy promise of the prize;
For every sweat-drenched brow and labor there,
The bounty of the land begins to rise.
From Western hills to markets far away,
The cocoa's gold sustains the modern day.

XXIV. The Weaver’s Loom
The shuttle flies across the narrow frame,
As Aso Oke grows beneath the hand.
Each pattern carries an ancestral name,
A woven map of this enduring land.
The Sanyan silk, the Alaari red,
The Etu dark as midnight's deep embrace;
A history is spun in every thread,
To clothe the noble children of the race.
At weddings where the drums begin to beat,
The heavy fabric shimmers in the light;
From head to toe, the beauty is complete,
A tapestry of elegance and might.
The loom may creak, the weaver’s hair turn gray,
But style like this shall never pass away.
XXV. The Egungun’s Dance
The ancestors return in silk and shroud,
To walk among the living once again.
Behind the mask, a voice both thin and proud
Reminds the world of things beyond our ken.
With swirling cloth and bells that softly chime,
The masquerade becomes a living flame;
A bridge across the jagged rifts of time,
Invoking every great and holy name.
The children scatter as the spirit nears,
A mix of holy dread and sudden joy;
The wisdom of a thousand vanished years
Is gathered in the charms they now employ.
The veil is thin between the earth and sky
When spirits dance and shadows multiply.

XXVI. The Bride’s Lament
The Ekún Iyàwó rises in the hall,
A daughter’s song before she leaves her home.
She honors every spirit, great and small,
Before she crosses over threshold’s foam.
She thanks the mother for the milk and care,
She thanks the father for the guiding hand;
Her voice is like a perfume in the air,
The sweetest music in the Yoruba land.
She weeps for childhood days that fly too fast,
Yet smiles for love that waits behind the door;
The future meets the shadows of the past,
As traditions wash upon the bridal floor.
A new branch grows upon the family tree,
Watered by tears and ancient melody.
XXVII. The Palm Oil Flame
A drop of red to soothe the angry soul,
The blood of earth that makes the engine run.
The heavy clusters fill the wooden bowl,
Ripened beneath the heat of southern sun.
It flavors every soup and every rite,
A golden grease that softens every blade;
It feeds the lamp that kills the forest night,
And blesses every bargain that is made.
"Oil is the water of the world," they say,
A healing balm for every skin and bone;
It keeps the ghosts of hunger far away,
And makes the taste of kinship clearly known.
From iron pot to ceremony's fire,
It is the fuel of every heart's desire.
Shall we move toward the majesty of the Alaafin’s Court or the folklore of the tortoise
















XXVIII. The Alaafin’s Court
Within the shadows of the carved-wood porch,
The King of Oyo sits upon the skin.
The sun outside is like a golden torch,
But here, the heavy, silent laws begin.
The Oyo Mesi whisper in the hall,
The council's breath that keeps the crown in place;
For if a monarch trips, the world shall fall,
And bring a shadow to the nation’s face.
The brass and beaded staff are held with pride,
A history of horsemen and of plains;
Where justice and the ancient ways reside,
And royal blood still flows through living veins.
The gate is wide, the palace walls are high,
Under the gaze of Sango’s watchful eye.
XXIX. The Trickster’s Shell
The tortoise crawls through dust and tangled vine,
Ajapa, with a mind as sharp as glass.
He seeks a way to make the world align,
And watches for the greedy ones to pass.
He stole the wisdom of the world in one,
But dropped the gourd and let the secrets fly;
A lesson that is never truly done,
Under the vast and mocking forest sky.
He outwits lions and the mighty kings,
With nothing but a slow and steady lie;
The humor that the clever spirit brings,
When truth and hunger both begin to cry.
The shell is cracked from falls of long ago,
XXX. The Twin’s Delight
The Ibeji are the children of the sun,
Double the joy and double the divine.
Two spirits where the world had only one,
A lucky star that makes the household shine.
If one should leave and find the spirit shore,
The wooden image takes the empty place;
With oil and beans, the parents ask for more,
And wash the features of the carved-wood face.
They are the monkeys of the sacred wood,
Who bring the wealth and drive away the gloom;
A sign that everything is twice as good,
When nature doubles in the mother’s womb.
Give them the sweets, the beans, and palm oil bright,
For twins are masters of the soul’s deep light.
XXXI. The Yam Festival
The earth is opened with a grateful hand,
To bring the king of tubers to the light.
The Iyan drum is heard across the land,
To celebrate the end of hunger’s night.
The first new yam is offered to the ground,
Before a single mortal takes a bite;
In every village, dance and song abound,
To honor growth and nature’s holy might.
Pounded to velvet in the wooden bowl,
With egusi soup that shimmers like the sun;
It feeds the body and it feeds the soul,
Until the day of harvesting is done.
The soil is generous to those who wait,























XXXII. The Sacrifice of Moremi
The river swallowed up her only son,
The price she paid to set her people free.
By her brave heart, the victory was won,
And Ife rose from chains of misery.
She walked into the camp of Igbo foes,
A captive queen with secrets in her eyes;
She learned the source of all their hidden blows,
And stripped away their leafy, dark disguise.
When fire met the grass-clad forest ghosts,
The city cheered as every shadow fled;
But grief was waiting on the river coasts,
For every word the grieving mother said.
A golden name that history shall keep:
The queen who sowed so that a world could reap.
XXXIII. The Agemo’s Veil
From dark Ijebu woods the spirits rise,
Hidden by mats of woven, sacred grass.
No mortal man may look with naked eyes,
As through the silent streets the shadows pass.
The sixteen masks are moving to the beat,
Of drums that echo from the ancient root;
The dust is rising from their holy feet,
As every voice in Ijebuland is mute.
They carry blessings for the coming year,
The power of the earth in every fold;
A mystery that triumphs over fear,
With stories that can never be fully told.
The mats collapse, the spirits slip away,
Into the mist before the break of day.
XXXIV. The Scent of Egusi
The melon seeds are ground to golden snow,
To thicken up the broth of palm and green.
Where peppers red and pungent onions grow,
The finest soup that mortal eyes have seen.
The steam arises from the blackened pot,
A fragrant cloud of crayfish and of spice;
It is the anchor of the family lot,
Served with a mountain of the pounded rice.
The mother stirs with wood and steady grace,
While children wait with hunger in their eyes;
It brings a smile to every weary face,
Beneath the vast and orange evening skies.
From humble hut to palace of the king,
This is the taste of every goodly thing.
XXXV. The Village Square
The moon is bright above the Iroko tree,
Where children gather on the dusty ground.
"Aalo o!" the elder’s voice is free,
As tales of spirits and of men abound.
The cricket chirps a rhythm to the tale,
Of how the dog once brought the fire to earth;
Or how the greedy hawk began to fail,
And how the stars were given second birth.
It is the school of wisdom and of wit,
Where every riddle sharpens up the mind;
Around the fire where old and young may sit,
The ties of kin and character are twined.
The night grows late, the embers start to glow,
But stories have no end and nowhere else to go.















continue
XXXVI. The Calabash Carver
With steady hand and needle made of steel,
he traces patterns on the sun-dried gourd.
A lexicon of symbols he’ll reveal,
where ancient myths and daily lives are stored.
He carves the lizard, sign of patient luck,
the sweeping curves of birds in sudden flight;
within the shell, the forest’s soul is stuck,
etched in the contrast of the dark and light.
From Oyo’s dusty stalls to distant shores,
these vessels hold the water and the wine;
they open up the spirit’s hidden doors,
where art and utility entwine.
The brittle skin becomes a sacred book,
for those who know the proper way to look.
XXXVII. The Egbado Frontier
The western plains where tall savannah grass
waves like the sea against the forest edge.
Where Egbado horsemen watched the seasons pass,
protecting every farm and rocky ledge.
A land of trade, of pepper and of salt,
where Yewa’s waters wander to the south;
where iron warriors brought the foe to halt,
with courage as their shield and word of mouth.
From Ilaro to hills of weathered stone,
the border-guardians kept the nation whole;
by strength of arm and spirit they are known,
the iron sinew of the Yoruba soul.
The drums of war have faded into peace,
but echoes of their valor never cease.
XXXVIII. The Sango Pipe
A puff of smoke against the purple sky,
the elder draws upon the wooden stem.
He watches as the thunder-clouds draw high,
and sparks of lightning jewel the heaven’s hem.
The tobacco glows, a small and earthly sun,
as stories of the lightning-king are told;
of battles fought and kingdoms lost and won,
and secrets that the heavy clouds can hold.
The scent of earth and burning leaf combined,
a quiet ritual in the evening air;
it settles every restless, wandering mind,
and lifts the burden of the daily care.
The storm begins to speak in muffled tones,
a vibration felt within the very bones.
XXXIX. The Kola Nut’s Prayer
"He who brings kola, brings the gift of life,"
the host declares and breaks the nut in four.
A simple wedge to end the social strife,
and open up the hospitality door.
With bitter taste that turns to sudden sweet,
it clears the throat and sharpens every word;
wherever friends and strangers chance to meet,
the clicking of the broken shell is heard.
The lobes are cast to see what fate may hold,
to ask the spirits if the path is clear;
a ritual more valuable than gold,
to banish every doubt and every fear.
Across the world, the Yorubas will share
this nut of peace, a small and crunchy prayer.


XL. The Night Hunter
Across the threshold of the forest floor,
The Ode moves with silver in his eyes.
He knows the secret of the hidden door,
Where leopard stalks and heavy python lies.
His flintlock rifle smells of ancient rust,
His charms are tied in leather, dark and worn;
He walks in silence through the leafy dust,
To guard the village until break of morn.
The Ijala chant is whispered to the trees,
A poem for the spirits of the game;
His presence is the chill upon the breeze,
The protector without a public name.
When shadows deepen in the Iroko's height,
He is the king and master of the night.
XLI. The Ooni’s Beaded Veil
From the high throne of Ife, source of all,
The monarch looks through rows of tiny glass.
Behind the veil, he hears the spirit call,
And watches centuries of shadows pass.
The beaded fringes hide the mortal face,
To show the crown is older than the man;
He is the living vessel of the race,
Whose sacred line before the world began.
Each bead a story, sapphire, gold, and red,
A universe upon a velvet frame;
The wisdom of the living and the dead,
Invoked in every royal, whispered name.
The world may change its colors and its skin,
But Ife’s light remains the heart within.
XLII. The Harmattan Fire
A spark is dropped upon the tinder grass,
And suddenly the world is orange light.
The crackling waves of heat and fury pass,
To turn the dusty brown to charcoal night.
It clears the path for yams and new-born seed,
A cleansing flame that eats the tangled thorn;
It satisfies the hungry planet’s need,
Before the green of April is reborn.
The kites and hawks circle the rising smoke,
To catch the insects fleeing from the heat;
Nature discards her old and weary cloak,
With blackened earth beneath the farmer's feet.
Destruction is the sister of the birth,
The phoenix-fire that wakes the sleeping earth.
XLIII. The Laughter of the Market
"The price is high!" the clever buyer cries,
"My children have not eaten for a week."
The seller laughs and rolls her heavy eyes,
With dimples carved within her polished cheek.
"This cloth was woven by a queen's own hand!"
"This yam was blessed by Sango’s very breath!"
The greatest theater in the Yoruba land,
A dance of wit that triumphs over death.
The haggling is a music, sharp and sweet,
Where copper coins and paper notes are exchanged;
From Lagos port to Oyo’s dusty street,
The world of men is daily rearranged.
No bargain is complete without a jest,
For joy is where the commerce finds its rest.
XLIV. The River’s Secret
Deep in the silt where silver catfish play,
The goddess Osun hides her brassy wealth.
She turns the heavy darkness into day,
And brings the barren mother back to health.
She does not need the thunder or the blade,
Her power is the cool and constant flow;
Within the sanctuary’s dappled shade,
The secrets of the water start to grow.
"Water has no enemy," the people sing,
A liquid grace that washes every stain;
It is the heart of every living thing,
The answer to the longing and the pain.
Through forest deep and city’s concrete wall,
The river’s voice is rising over all.


XLV. The Abiku’s Choice
Between the world of light and shadows deep,
The wanderer comes and goes with restless feet.
A promise that the mother cannot keep,
Where bitter sorrow and the sunshine meet.
"You shall not go again," the elders pray,
And bind the ankles with a copper ring;
To coax the silver spirit-child to stay,
And taste the joys that earthly seasons bring.
They give the child a name to break the spell:
"Stay with us now," or "Do not die again."
A secret story that the scars will tell,
Of love that triumphs over ancient pain.
The cycle breaks when heart and earth align,
To turn the human into the divine.
XLVI. The Orisha Across the Sea
The wooden ships sailed out on salty tears,
To shores of cane, of coffee, and of lime.
But in the soul, through all the heavy years,
The gods survived the cruelty of time.
In Cuba’s drums, the Sango pulse is found,
In Brazil’s light, the Osun waters flow;
The Diaspora is now the holy ground,
Where seeds of Ife's wisdom start to grow.
Though languages may blend and names may shift,
The Omo Oodua stand with pride;
A cultural and indestructible gift,
Carried across the ocean’s rising tide.
The world is wide, but the ancestral root
Still bears the sweetest, most enduring fruit.
XLVII. The Elder’s Staff
The Opa leans against the mud-brick wall,
Carved from the heart of hard mahogany.
It held the man when he was straight and tall,
And holds him now in his autonomy.
A third leg for the journey to the end,
A witness to the proverbs and the law;
It is a silent and a steady friend,
That sees what younger eyes have never saw.
With every silver hair, a story grows,
Of wars survived and children’s children born;
The elder is the river, for he knows
How many tides the ancient banks have worn.
Respect the staff, the gray hair, and the gait,
For in their presence, we approach the great.
XLVIII. The Feast of Amala
The dark flour swirls within the boiling pot,
Turned by the strength of a rhythmic wooden spoon.
Until the lumps are gone and it is hot,
And smooth as shadows underneath the moon.
With Gbegiri and Ewedu on the side,
A trinity of taste upon the plate;
It is the Oyo person's greatest pride,
A meal that makes a common man feel great.
The fingers dip into the velvet mound,
A communal joy that brings the circle near;
In every steaming bowl, the home is found,
A remedy for every doubt and fear.
The belly full, the spirit finds its rest,
Of all the forest's gifts, this is the best.
XLIX. The Future’s Pattern
The student sits before the glowing screen,
In Lagos labs or London’s rainy street.
But in the code, the ancient signs are seen,
Where binary and Ifa symbols meet.
The pattern of the world is ever-new,
Yet built upon the logic of the past;
The Yoruba mind is bold and ever-true,
In a world that moves and changes very fast.
From medicine to music’s neon glow,
The heritage is fuel for the flight;
The more the branches of the nation grow,
The more they seek the source of Ife’s light.
The crown is gold, but plastic is the tool,
As wisdom finds a modern, global school.
L. The Eternal Land
Fifty songs for the land of bronze and sun,
For every hill and every sacred stream.
The journey of the soul is never done,
Within this vibrant and enduring dream.
From Oduduwa’s chain to Lagos' shore,
The heart of Yoruba beats a steady drum;
It survived the storms of history and war,
And waits for all the glories yet to come.
Oh, land of proverbs, lace, and indigo,
Of talking drums and wisdom deep and wide;
Wherever your courageous children go,
They carry all your majesty inside.
The sun may set, but stars begin to shine,
Upon a nation, ancient and divine.


continue
Since we have completed the core cycle of fifty sonnets, I have composed a final "Coda"—four additional sonnets that serve as an epilogue. These poems reflect on the unity of the Yoruba spirit, the power of the language, the legacy of the mothers, and a final blessing for the land.
The Yoruba speech is music on the tongue,
Where tone and pitch can change a world of sense.
A language that was old when time was young,
With meanings deep and proverbs quite intense.
To say "to buy" is not to say "to sit,"
A rising note can turn a "tree" to "fire."
It is a puzzle carved with poets' wit,
That lifts the soul’s expression ever higher.
In every Ekule and morning greet,
The social fabric weaves itself anew;
A melody that's heard on every street,
As constant as the morning’s silver dew.
Though other tongues may try to take its place,
This is the heartbeat of a noble race.
LII. The Great Mother (Iyami)
The birds of night sit silent on the bough,
The mothers who command the hidden wind.
With silver hair and wisdom on the brow,
They see the secrets that the heart has sinned.
They hold the calabash of life and death,
The guardians of the womb and of the grave;
They are the rhythm of the city’s breath,
The ones who punish and the ones who save.
Respect the woman in her quiet power,
For she is the foundation of the home;
She is the roots and they are but the flower,
No matter how the restless children roam.
The world is balanced by her steady hand,
The silent queen of all the Yoruba land.
LIII. The Rusty Roofs
Ibadan spreads beneath the midday glare,
A sea of copper, brown, and weathered gold.
The scent of woodsmoke fills the humid air,
Where stories of a thousand years are told.
The "running splash of rust" the poet sang,
Still ripples over hills of ancient clay;
Where iron bells and palace gongs once rang,
And modern life still finds its hectic way.
From Mapo Hall to markets in the glen,
The city is a sprawling, living heart;
A sanctuary for the sons of men,
Where history and future never part.
Beneath the rust, the spirit stays as bright
As stars that decorate the forest night.
LIV. The Final Blessing
May Osun’s water always keep you cool,
May Ogun sharpen every tool you hold.
May Sango’s justice be your constant rule,
And Ifa’s wisdom turn your dross to gold.
May Esu never lead your feet astray,
Except to find a truth you did not know;
May ancestors protect you every day,
And make the seeds of all your labors grow.
The fifty songs are finished, but the land
Is writing new ones with each rising sun;
Held in the hollow of the Creator’s hand,
The story of the race has just begun.
Go forth with pride and let your spirit shine,
For you are born of lineage divine.




















The Last Slice.

The Last Slice
Characters:
MARCUS: Mid-20s, intensely defensive.
CLARA: Mid-20s, eerily calm.
Setting: A cramped studio apartment. A single pizza box sits on a coffee table.
(The lights come up on MARCUS and CLARA staring at the pizza box. One slice remains.)
MARCUS: I did the math. I paid for the extra toppings. The jalapeños were my executive decision.
CLARA: You also ate the crusts I left behind. That’s a caloric surcharge. You’re already ahead.
MARCUS: That’s recycling, Clara. I was cleaning the plate.
CLARA: (Reaching slowly) I haven’t eaten since the brunch we skipped because you couldn't find your left shoe.
MARCUS: (Slaps the table) Don’t bring the shoe into this. This is about justice. This is about the pepperoni-to-cheese ratio I’ve maintained all night.
MARCUS: No. Now I can’t. You’ve made it a pity slice.
MARCUS: (Quickly) Wait! Let’s be civilized. Rock, paper, scissors. Best of seventeen.
CLARA: (Sighs) Rock.
MARCUS: (Simultaneously) Scissors. Dammit!
CLARA: (Picks up the slice) Victory tastes like lukewarm grease.
MARCUS: I hope it haunts you.
(CLARA takes a huge bite. MARCUS watches, heartbroken.)
MARCUS: ...Yes.
[BLACKOUT]
The Waiting Room
Characters:
A: Dressed in a suit, checking a watch that doesn't tick.
B: Dressed in pajamas, holding a toaster.
Setting: A room with two chairs and a white door.
A: You’re late.
B: I didn't know there was a schedule. I was making breakfast.
A: You can't bring that in here.
B: It’s stuck. My bagel is still in there. If I leave it, it’ll burn.
A: (Points to the door) There is no "burn" where we’re going. There is only the Appointment.
B: Is it an interview? Because I’m not wearing pants.
B: (Beat) Of what?
A: Everything. Every time you didn't return a library book. Every time you "forgot" to tip. The bagel is the least of your worries.
B: I tipped the pizza guy last night! Twenty percent!
A: (Checks a phantom clipboard) That’s noted. It bought you the chair with the cushion.
B: (Looks at A’s chair) You’re sitting on plastic.
A: (Stiffly) I didn't return a lawnmower in 1998.
(The white door clicks open. A bright light spills in.)
B: Is it time?
A: For you. I’m still waiting for the mower owner to show up so I can apologize.
B: (Clutching the toaster) Wish me luck.
A: Don't worry. They usually like bagels.
Would you like me to expand one of these into a multi-scene script or write a third play in a specific genre like horror?
AI can make mistakes, so double-check responses



CLARA: It’s a piece of dough, Marcus. Just take it.
CLARA: Fine. I’ll take it.
CLARA: (Muffled) Want a bite?
A: It’s an accounting.
[


















continue
The Unpaid Tab
Characters:
GREG: A nervous man in a tuxedo.
SHEILA: A woman in a leather jacket, holding a clipboard.
Setting: A dimly lit hallway outside a wedding reception. Muffled "YMCA" plays in the background.
GREG: I told you, the check is in the mail. Or it’s coming. My uncle handles the estate.
SHEILA: Your uncle has been "handling the estate" since the appetizers, Greg. It’s midnight. The band is packing up. I need the final payment for the ice sculpture.
GREG: It melted! Technically, I’m paying for a puddle now. Shouldn’t there be a depreciation discount?
SHEILA: It was a six-foot swan, Greg. It performed its duty for four hours. It’s not my fault your cousin tried to ride it.
SHEILA: (Deadpan) I’m a professional event coordinator, not a pawn shop.
GREG: Fine. (He pulls a ring box from his pocket). Take the backup ring.
SHEILA: (Opens it) This is a Ring Pop. Strawberry.
SHEILA: (Sighs, unwraps the candy, and starts licking it). Fine. But I’m taking the centerpiece from Table 4, too.
GREG: Deal.
[BLACKOUT]
The Elevator Pitch
Characters:
SAM: A frantic inventor.
MS. VANCE: A cold, high-powered CEO.
Setting: An elevator stuck between floors.
SAM: (Panting) Okay, look. You’re trapped. I’m trapped. It’s fate.
MS. VANCE: It’s a mechanical failure, Sam. Sit down before you consume all the oxygen.
SAM: Just hear me out: Edible shoes.
MS. VANCE: No.
SAM: Think about it! You’re hiking, you get lost, you’re starving—bam! You eat your left loafer. High protein, tanned leather flavor.
MS. VANCE: What happens if it rains? You’re walking on soggy toast?
SAM: I’m working on a waterproof glaze. Made of honey and resin.
MS. VANCE: You want me to invest in "sticky boots."
SAM: (Desperate) I have a prototype! (He starts unlacing his shoe).
MS. VANCE: If you put that shoe near my face, I will make sure you never work in this city again.
SAM: (Freezes with the shoe halfway to his mouth). Is that a "maybe"?
(The elevator jerks and starts moving again.)
MS. VANCE: That’s a "get out at the next floor."
[BLACKOUT]



GREG: (Straightening his tie) Look, I’m a little short. How about I give you the toaster I just got from my Aunt Linda? It’s chrome.
GREG: It's a vintage 2024.Very rare.
















The Silent Patner


The Silent Partner
Characters:
BENNY: A nervous bank robber.
CLYDE: A seasoned bank robber.
THE MIME: A street performer who was in the wrong place.
(BENNY is frantically turning the key. CLYDE is looking out the back window. THE MIME is sitting in the backseat, perfectly still, "holding" an invisible steering wheel.)
BENNY: It’s dead, Clyde. The alternator gave up on life.
CLYDE: Why is he still here? We left the bank three blocks ago!
BENNY: He was on the sidewalk! I thought he was a statue! I grabbed him for cover!
CLYDE: You kidnapped a mime, Benny! That’s a federal offense on top of a felony!
(THE MIME suddenly begins to "climb" an invisible ladder out of the backseat.)
BENNY: Look! He’s escaping!
CLYDE: He’s not escaping, he’s doing a bit! (To the Mime) Hey! Stop climbing the air and tell us where the backup car is!
(THE MIME stops, looks at CLYDE, and mimes "pulling" a giant heavy rope from the floorboards.)
BENNY: Is he... is he saying we should tow it?
CLYDE: No, he’s saying we’re tied together! It’s a metaphor for our impending arrest!
BENNY: (Wailing) I don't want a metaphor, I want a mechanic!
CLYDE: How did he do that? The battery is disconnected!
(THE MIME points out the window at a police cruiser pulling up behind them. He mimes putting on handcuffs.)
BENNY: At least the trial will be quiet.
[BLACKOUT]
The Customer is Always...
Characters:
ELARA: A barista at a cosmic coffee shop.
THE ENTITY: A shimmering, multi-dimensional being.
Setting: A café at the edge of the universe.
ELARA: I’m sorry, we’re out of oat milk. I can offer you almond, soy, or the tears of a dying star.
THE ENTITY: (Voice echoing) THE TEARS ARE TOO SALTY. I HAVE A SEMINAR ON NEBULA FORMATION IN AN HOUR. I NEED CAFFEINE.
ELARA: I have a Dark Matter Roast. It’s heavy.
THE ENTITY: DOES IT HAVE HINTS OF VANILLA?
ELARA: It has hints of existential dread and a touch of cinnamon.
THE ENTITY: I WILL TAKE A LARGE. PUT IT ON THE TAB FOR THE GALAXY ANDROMEDA.
ELARA: (Typing into a tablet) Andromeda is over-leveraged, sir. Their credit was frozen after the last supernova.
THE ENTITY: (Sighs, a sound like rushing wind) FINE. I WILL PAY WITH A MEMORY.
ELARA: (Holds out a small glass jar) Put it in here. No childhood birthdays, please. We have too many of those in stock.
(THE ENTITY leans over and whispers into the jar. It glows bright blue.)
ELARA: (Checks the glow) A first kiss? Nice. That’ll get you a double shot.
[BLACKOUTS 



Setting: A getaway car that won't start. Smoke rises from the dashboard.
(THE MIME leans forward and mimes "honking" a horn. A loud, real HONK sounds from

Short Plays.part one

Now turn them into full plays one by one
Turning 500 concepts into full scripts is a marathon, so let’s kick off with Play #1: The Wi-Fi Password.
This is a "Ten-Minute Play" format. It's snappy, awkward, and sweet—perfect for two actors and a minimal set.
Play #1: The Wi-Fi Password
CHARACTERS:
BEN (20s): Fidgety. His laptop is his shield. He’s been staring at the same sentence for forty minutes.
MAYA (20s): Observant. Carrying a dead tablet and a sense of cosmic frustration.
SETTING:
A cramped, trendy cafe. One tiny table remains.
[SCENE START]
BEN
(Under his breath)
Come on. Connect. Just… one bar. Give me a soul-crushing pixel. Anything.
MAYA
(Standing over him)
Is it dead?
BEN
(Jumps)
The internet? Yes. It’s been martyred.
MAYA
I meant the table. Is this seat taken by an imaginary friend or can I sit?
BEN
Oh. No. Please. Sit. Just be warned, the Wi-Fi here is where dreams go to be buffered indefinitely.
BEN
I’ve tried "GroundControl123," "CoffeeBeans69," and "I-Hate-This-Place." None of them work.
MAYA
Did you ask the barista?
BEN
He’s wearing vintage headphones and a look of profound spiritual superiority. I’m not brave enough.
MAYA
(Leans in)
Try: BetterThanHome2024.
BEN
(Typing)
Is that it?
BEN
(Beat)
"Incorrect Password."
MAYA
Darn. Okay, what about… NoFreeLunch?
BEN
(Types)
Denied.
MAYA
Okay, let’s get personal. What’s your deepest secret? Maybe it’s that.
BEN
My secret is that I’m actually a writer who hasn't written a word in three hours because I’m obsessed with a malfunctioning router.
MAYA
(Smiles)
My secret is I’m not actually late for work. I quit four hours ago and I just wanted to see if anyone would notice I was gone.
BEN
(Stops typing)
Did they?
MAYA
My inbox is a ghost town. Which is why I need the Wi-Fi. To see the silence in high definition.
BEN
(Softly)
Try: LookUpFromYourPhone.
MAYA
Is that a guess?
BEN
No. It’s a suggestion.
(They lock eyes. A long beat. BEN closes his laptop.)
MAYA
(Smirks)
That’s a bold password.
BEN
It didn't work. But the conversation is at five bars.
MAYA
(Puts her tablet away)
I’m Maya.
BEN
I’m Ben. And I think the router is actually unplugged.
MAYA
Don't you dare plug it in. I’m enjoying the blackout.
[SCENE END]
Proactive Follow-up: Should I continue with Play #2: Dog Park Diplomacy, or do you want to tweak the tone of these (make them more dramatic, longer, or more comedic)?
For formatting tips, check out the BBC Writersroom Screenplay/Stageplay Guide to see how pros lay it out!



MAYA
(Sits, slides her tablet onto the table)
I just need to send one email. "I’m late because I’m a disaster." It’s a very important update for my boss.
MAYA
No