Characters:
ZOG: An alien (represented by a green light or a strange voice).
DAVE: A guy in a bathrobe holding a bag of trash.
Setting: A suburban driveway at 2:00 AM.
ZOG: WE HAVE TRAVELED SIX LIGHT YEARS TO SPEAK WITH THE REPRESENTATIVE OF EARTH.
DAVE: (Squinting) Is this about the HOA? Because I told them I’d move the trash cans by morning.
ZOG: WE SEEK THE SECRET TO YOUR SPECIES' DOMINANCE. HOW DO YOU SUSTAIN SUCH CHAOS WITHOUT COLLAPSING?
DAVE: Honestly? Coffee and a general sense of denial.
ZOG: ...DENIAL? IS THAT A FUEL SOURCE?
DAVE: Kind of. You just pretend things aren't on fire until they burn out.
ZOG: (A long humming sound) FASCINATING. WE SHALL RETURN TO OUR GALAXY AND IGNORE THE SUN THAT IS CURRENTLY EXPLODING BEHIND US.
DAVE: That’s the spirit. You want a trash bag? I got extras.
ZOG: NO. WE SHALL TAKE THE COFFEE.
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