Genre: Absurdist Comedy
Characters:
CLERK: Bored, behind a high desk.
ARTHUR: Anxious, holding a small cardboard box.
[SCENE START]
CLERK: Next.
ARTHUR: Yes, hello. I’d like to return this... Tuesday.
CLERK: (Without looking up) Receipt?
ARTHUR: (Fumbles with his pockets) Here. It was the Tuesday of last week. The 14th.
CLERK: (Examines the receipt) This says you used the Tuesday. You woke up, you had coffee, you went to work.
CLERK: Sir, "General Unpleasantness" is not a manufacturing defect.
ARTHUR: But look at the box! It’s grey. Tuesdays are supposed to be... I don't know, yellow?
CLERK: I can offer you a store credit for a rainy Wednesday in November, or a 15% discount on a Monday morning.
ARTHUR: A Monday? That’s an insult. I want a Saturday.
CLERK: (Laughs) A Saturday? Everyone wants a Saturday. You don't have the credit score for a Saturday, Mr. Arthur.
ARTHUR: Fine. Give me the Wednesday. But I want the one with the thunderstorm. If I’m going to be miserable, I want the proper sound effects.
[SCENE END]
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