Characters:
ALEX: A person just trying to buy a toaster.
REPRESENTATIVE: A voice over a speaker (or an actor standing very still).
Setting: A minimalist store with one single toaster on a pedestal.
ALEX: Excuse me, how much is this?
REPRESENTATIVE: To provide you with an accurate quote, please rate your current mood on a scale of one to ten.
ALEX: My mood? I don’t know, a six? I’m hungry. I just want toast.
REPRESENTATIVE: A "six" indicates mild dissatisfaction. Applying "Grumpy Morning" surcharge. The toaster is now four hundred dollars.
ALEX: Four hundred dollars?! That’s insane!
REPRESENTATIVE: We’ve detected an increase in your heart rate. Your "Passion Tax" has been applied. Total is now five hundred and fifty dollars.
ALEX: (Deep breath, closing eyes) Okay. I am calm. I am a lake. I am a very cheap, very still lake.
REPRESENTATIVE: Your sudden emotional void suggests you are a robot. We do not sell to competitors. Please exit the store.
ALEX: I’m not a robot! I’m just trying to be a lake so I can afford bread!
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