The Silent Partner
Characters:
BENNY: A nervous bank robber.
CLYDE: A seasoned bank robber.
THE MIME: A street performer who was in the wrong place.
(BENNY is frantically turning the key. CLYDE is looking out the back window. THE MIME is sitting in the backseat, perfectly still, "holding" an invisible steering wheel.)
BENNY: It’s dead, Clyde. The alternator gave up on life.
CLYDE: Why is he still here? We left the bank three blocks ago!
BENNY: He was on the sidewalk! I thought he was a statue! I grabbed him for cover!
CLYDE: You kidnapped a mime, Benny! That’s a federal offense on top of a felony!
(THE MIME suddenly begins to "climb" an invisible ladder out of the backseat.)
BENNY: Look! He’s escaping!
CLYDE: He’s not escaping, he’s doing a bit! (To the Mime) Hey! Stop climbing the air and tell us where the backup car is!
(THE MIME stops, looks at CLYDE, and mimes "pulling" a giant heavy rope from the floorboards.)
BENNY: Is he... is he saying we should tow it?
CLYDE: No, he’s saying we’re tied together! It’s a metaphor for our impending arrest!
BENNY: (Wailing) I don't want a metaphor, I want a mechanic!
CLYDE: How did he do that? The battery is disconnected!
(THE MIME points out the window at a police cruiser pulling up behind them. He mimes putting on handcuffs.)
BENNY: At least the trial will be quiet.
[BLACKOUT]
The Customer is Always...
Characters:
ELARA: A barista at a cosmic coffee shop.
THE ENTITY: A shimmering, multi-dimensional being.
Setting: A café at the edge of the universe.
ELARA: I’m sorry, we’re out of oat milk. I can offer you almond, soy, or the tears of a dying star.
THE ENTITY: (Voice echoing) THE TEARS ARE TOO SALTY. I HAVE A SEMINAR ON NEBULA FORMATION IN AN HOUR. I NEED CAFFEINE.
ELARA: I have a Dark Matter Roast. It’s heavy.
THE ENTITY: DOES IT HAVE HINTS OF VANILLA?
ELARA: It has hints of existential dread and a touch of cinnamon.
THE ENTITY: I WILL TAKE A LARGE. PUT IT ON THE TAB FOR THE GALAXY ANDROMEDA.
ELARA: (Typing into a tablet) Andromeda is over-leveraged, sir. Their credit was frozen after the last supernova.
THE ENTITY: (Sighs, a sound like rushing wind) FINE. I WILL PAY WITH A MEMORY.
ELARA: (Holds out a small glass jar) Put it in here. No childhood birthdays, please. We have too many of those in stock.
(THE ENTITY leans over and whispers into the jar. It glows bright blue.)
ELARA: (Checks the glow) A first kiss? Nice. That’ll get you a double shot.
[BLACKOUTS
Setting: A getaway car that won't start. Smoke rises from the dashboard.
(THE MIME leans forward and mimes "honking" a horn. A loud, real HONK sounds from
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