February 13, 2026

Astrology in the World.





The blogger ibikunle Abraham laniyan authors a fiction on astrology sketched around Yorubaland.Here is a short fiction based on the principles of Yorubaland's astrology and the Ifá divination system, which links celestial bodies and destiny to the Orishas.
In the heart of ancient Yorubaland, where the stars were not mere points of light but the eyes of the Orishas, lived a young woman named Moremi. Her birth had been foretold by the alignment of the Moon, the celestial mother associated with Yemoja, in the house of the home. This meant her destiny (Ori) was deeply tied to family and community, a path of nurturing and stability. Yet, a powerful, fiery influence lingered from Mars, ruled by Ogun, the warrior god of iron and strength, sitting in her first house, the house of the self. This duality created a conflict: a soul destined for peace, yet possessing a warrior's spirit and the potential for great upheaval.
The village Babalawo, a high priest of Ifá named Baba Opele, had warned her mother years ago during a divination session using the sacred palm nuts and the Opon Ifá tray. The signs, the Odu Ifá, had revealed a life of profound purpose but also a need for careful balance (Iwa-pele) to prevent her inner fire from consuming her peaceful destiny. He had prescribed offerings to both Yemoja and Ogun to maintain harmony, a ritual her mother faithfully performed.
Moremi grew up with a restless spirit, her hands itching for action while her heart yearned for quiet harmony. When a neighboring village threatened war over access to the river, a place sacred to Oshun, the goddess of love and fertility, the village elders were thrown into disarray. The current Odu indicated aggression and conflict, the strong influence of Ogun and Shango, the god of thunder and lightning, dominating the cosmic crossroads.
Moremi, guided by an intense inner knowing she couldn't explain, consulted Baba Opele herself. He cast the opele chain again, the patterns falling onto the ground, revealing a specific verse, an ese of Ifá, that spoke of a unique alignment. "The heavens have aligned in a peculiar way, child," he intoned, his voice deep with the wisdom of Orunmila, the deity of wisdom and divination. "The strength of Ogun and the harmony of Yemoja converge within you, the first time this alignment has been seen since the time of the ancestors."
The Odu suggested a non-traditional solution, one that required both a warrior's courage and a mother's diplomacy. Ignoring the elders' skepticism, Moremi proposed a journey to the rival village, not with weapons of iron (Ogun's domain) but with gifts of the river and a proposal for a shared festival dedicated to both Ogun (for strength in cooperation) and Oshun (for prosperity and peace). The Babalawo, recognizing the divine instruction within the Odu, supported her, performing the necessary sacrifices (ebo) to ensure her path was clear and her ori (destiny) aligned with the will of the divine.
Moremi's approach worked. Her courage, the fire of Ogun, earned the respect of the rival chief, while her plea for shared prosperity and harmony, the flow of Yemoja and Oshun, touched the hearts of the people. The war was averted, and the two villages established a new tradition, a yearly festival celebrating the balance of fire and water, war and peace. Moremi, the woman born under the dual signs, had successfully navigated her complex destiny, proving that the stars did not dictate an unchangeable fate, but offered a map for a life lived in balance with the cosmos and the Orishas.

We decipher names,date of birth and how they ensure marital harmony.In Yoruba cosmology, deciphering names, birth dates, and marital harmony is not a matter of random chance but a deep investigation into Akọsẹjayé (one's destiny at birth) and the Ifá system. 
1. Deciphering Names (The Orúkọ) 
Yoruba names are categorized into three types based on the soul’s journey:
2. The Significance of Date of Birth (Irawọ̀)
While Western astrology uses months, Yoruba tradition often looks at the Irawọ̀ (Star/Zodiac) and Ayanmọ̀ (Destiny) derived from the birth circumstances. 
Irawọ̀ (Zodiac Connection): Many practitioners link modern zodiac signs to specific Orishas:
Aries: Ogun (War/Iron).
Taurus: Oshun (Love/Beauty).
Leo: Orunmila (Wisdom/Sun).
Scorpio: Oya (Wind/Storms).
Calculation: Traditional numerology within Ifá practice can calculate a Destiny Number by summing the day, month, and year of birth to reveal one's "Life Path". 
3. Determining Marital Harmony
Before a marriage (isoye), families consult the Ifá Divination System to ensure the couple’s Ori (inner heads) align. 
Full Compatibility: A practitioner (Babalawo) checks if the couple's Irawọ̀ and Akọsẹjayé are compatible. Even if the personalities (stars) match, a marriage may fail if their spiritual destinies conflict.
The Role of Oshun: As the goddess of love and marriage, Oshun is often consulted for harmony and fertility in the home.
Remediation (Ebo): If the alignment is poor, Ifá may prescribe specific sacrifices (ebo) to "recast the self" or smooth the path for the relationship.
Orúkọ Àmútọ̀runwá (Destiny Names): These are "brought from heaven" based on the physical circumstances of birth. Examples include:
Taiwo & Kehinde: For twins.
Ìgè: For a child born breech (feet first).
Òjó (Male) / Àìná (Female): For children born with the umbilical cord around the neck.
Orúkọ Àbísọ (Acquired Names): Given by elders to reflect the family's state, such as Babatunde (father has returned) if a grandfather died recently.
Orúkọ Oríkí (Praise Names): Pet names like Àdùnní or Àkànní that evoke specific ancestral or spiritual qualities. 
continue the fiction or novel
The celebration of the new festival, the Odun Isokan (Festival of Unity), had transformed the village of Ile-Aiye. But for Moremi, the quiet peace of the riverbank was where she felt the weight of her next chapter.
In Yorubaland, a woman’s marriage is not just a union of two people, but a merging of two Ori (destiny-heads) and two ancestral lineages. As Moremi reached the age of blooming, the village elders began to whisper. Her fame had traveled far, and soon, two prominent suitors emerged, each representing a different celestial path.
The Two Suitors
The first was Adekoye, a high-ranking warrior from the northern plains. His name meant "The Crown brings Joy," and his presence was like the midday sun—intense, commanding, and unyielding.
His Irawọ̀ (Star): Born under the sign of Sango, his spirit was fire and lightning.
The Match: On paper, he was the perfect mirror for Moremi’s warrior heart. Together, they would be a power couple that no kingdom could challenge.
The second was Obafemi, a quiet woodcarver and herbalist. His name meant "The King loves me." He possessed the coolness of the forest at dawn.
His Irawọ̀ (Star): He was a child of Osanyin (the god of herbs) and Erinle (the physician of the forest).
The Match: His energy was water and earth, a calming balm to Moremi’s internal fire.
The Consultation of the Opon Ifá
Moremi’s mother, sensing the tension in her daughter’s soul, took her back to Baba Opele. The old priest sat before his wooden tray, the dust of camwood scattered across its surface.
"Names are the seeds of the soul, Moremi," the priest whispered. "But the date of birth is the soil. We must see if the seeds can grow in the same earth."
"Adekoye is the lightning," Baba Opele began. "You are the iron. When lightning strikes iron, there is a brilliant flash, but the iron may melt and lose its shape. Your marital harmony would be a constant battle for dominance. Your destinies would clash like two rams at a watering hole."
He then looked at the spiritual alignment of Obafemi.
"Obafemi is the cool stream. You are the heated blade. When the blade enters the stream, it is tempered. It becomes stronger, sharper, and more durable. He does not wish to be the king of your life; he wishes to be the soil that holds your roots."
The Choice of the Ori
The elders pushed for Adekoye. They saw the political power of two fire-stars aligning. They looked at the Orúkọ Àmútọ̀runwá and saw only the strength. But Moremi remembered the secret of the Iwa-pele (gentle character).
On the night of the New Moon, Moremi made her choice. She chose the woodcarver.
The village was shocked. How could a lioness choose a gardener? But on their wedding night, as they performed the ritual of sharing a kola nut, Moremi felt a coolness she had never known. For the first time, the restless fire in her chest—the warrior’s itch—didn't feel like a burden.
Her name, Moremi ("I have found a savior/gift"), took on a new meaning. She wasn't just a savior for her village; she had found the partner who saved her from her own intensity. Their marriage became a legend not of conquest, but of Alafia (total peace), proving that in Yoruba astrology, the best match isn't always the person who is most like you, but the person who provides the element you lack.
Would you like to explore a specific ritual they might perform to bless their union, or should we jump ahead to see the destiny of their first child?

He cast the Opele chain. The nuts fell in a pattern known as Oyeku Meji—a sign of darkness turning into light, but also a warning of "heat 
The moon was a thin silver sliver—the Oṣù tuntun—marking a new cycle when Moremi discovered she was with child. In Yorubaland, a pregnancy is not just a biological event but a spiritual arrival.
As her belly grew, the village began to speculate on the child’s Akọsẹjayé. Would the child inherit Moremi’s iron or Obafemi’s forest-coolness? To find out, they prepared for the Ìmọ̀rí ceremony—the "Knowing of the Head."
The Birth of the Sky-Watcher
When the child finally arrived, the sky did something strange. It was midday, but a sudden Solar Eclipse cast a violet shadow over the palm groves. The child, a boy, was born in total silence. He didn't cry; he simply watched the returning sun with wide, amber eyes.
Because of the celestial anomaly, Baba Opele named him Babatunde ("Father has returned"), but his Orúkọ Àmútọ̀runwá—his destiny name—was Ajéwọlé. He was born with a clenched fist. When Moremi gently pried it open, she found not a stone or a seed, but a tiny, translucent pebble that glowed like a fallen star.
The Deciphering of the Star-Child
Seven days after the birth, the family gathered for the naming. Baba Opele cast the Opele Chain once more. The marks that appeared on the tray were Idi Meji.
"This child," the Babalawo whispered, his eyes wide, "is an Irawọ̀ Koledarun—a Star-Gatherer. He is born under the alignment of Orunmila (Wisdom) and Olokun (the Deep Ocean). He will not be a warrior of the sword like his mother, nor a healer of herbs like his father."
The priest pointed to the child's birth date, which coincided with the rare alignment of the Five Great Orishas in the sky. "He is a Watcher. He will decipher the secrets of the heavens to guide the Oba (King) through the Great Drought that is written in the stars for twenty years from now."
Marital Harmony Tested
The child’s destiny brought a new tension to Moremi and Obafemi’s home. Moremi wanted to train him in the art of the Ogun (iron and defense) to protect his rare gift. Obafemi wanted him to stay in the quiet shadows of the forest, safe from those who would exploit a "Star-Child."
Their Marital Harmony was tested. The heat of the iron and the coolness of the water began to steam. To resolve it, they performed the Yoruba Naming Ceremony (Isomoloruko), tasting honey for sweetness, salt for flavor, and water for endurance.
They realized that their son was neither "fire" nor "water," but Air—the wind that carries the messages of the gods. They agreed to let the child be apprenticed to the Ifá Priests, where his ability to read the Irawọ̀ (stars) would be honed for the good of all Yorubaland.


Moremi and Obafemi had found peace in compromise, and their son, Ajéwọlé, grew not by the river or in the forest, but within the hallowed walls of the Iledi, the sacred grove where the secrets of Ifá were taught. The glowing pebble he was born with never left his neck, humming with a quiet energy that calmed the restless nature he’d inherited from his mother.
Ajéwọlé learned to read the sky as easily as others read footprints in the dust. He learned the intricate mathematics that connected the phases of Oṣupa (the Moon, domain of Yemoja) to the cycles of planting and harvest, and the fiery path of Irawo Oku (Mars/Ogun) to times of conflict.
The Great Drought Foretold
At the age of sixteen, Ajéwọlé was assisting the now very aged Baba Opele with a major divination for the Oba (King). The land was peaceful, the rivers full, and the people content. The King expected good news.
But as Ajéwọlé watched the alignment of the stars that night, specifically the unusual dimming of Irawo Ina (Jupiter/Sango), he felt the humming pebble around his neck grow cold. The cosmic balance was shifting.
The Odu that appeared in the palm nuts was Otura Ogbe, a sign of great journeys and impending change. It spoke of a time when the "sky would close its eyes and the earth would lose its moisture."
"There will be a drought," Ajéwọlé announced, his young voice cutting through the silence of the shrine. "It will last for three full years. The rivers will dry, and the crops will fail. The sky-fire is retreating, and the deep ocean is angry."
The King and the elders laughed. The land was green. Baba Opele, however, looked at the young man and nodded. The stars never lie.
The Test of Destiny
The elders demanded proof. In the court of the Oba, they challenged Ajéwọlé. "You were a child of a strange sun-darkening! Your mother married a herbalist! What do you know of the world’s balance?"
Moremi’s warrior spirit flared within her, but Obafemi placed a calming hand on her arm. This was their son's test.
Ajéwọlé reached for the pebble around his neck. "My mother taught me courage; my father taught me patience. Ifá taught me wisdom." He held the pebble high. "This stone, born from the sky during my first moments, resonates with the Ori of the land itself."
He deciphered the exact date the rains would cease and the well closest to the palace would dry. He advised the King not to make war or trade, but to focus all the kingdom's efforts on building massive underground storage for water and grain, and for planting drought-resistant crops from the northern lands (a knowledge his father had shared with him).
The King was skeptical but the fear in Baba Opele's eyes convinced him. The work began.
The Sky Closes Its Eyes
The date Ajéwọlé predicted arrived. The rains stopped. The sun burned brighter than anyone had ever seen. The "Great Drought" began.
For months, neighboring kingdoms suffered greatly. There was famine and war over the last remaining water sources. But in Ile-Aiye, because the King had listened to the Star-Gatherer, the people survived. They had enough water and food to last three years.
Ajéwọlé had fulfilled his Akọsẹjayé. He had used the knowledge of the stars and the wisdom of Ifá to save his people. His story became a testament to the power of observation, the balance of different energies, and the profound wisdom embedded in the heavens and the earth of Yorubaland. He became the Chief Royal Astrologer, the first man in generations whose primary role was to read the celestial map to guide an entire nation's destiny.
Relationship Compatibility by Birth Date - 


Oduological Analysis of Traditional Yoruba Personal Names ...
249. Abiodun) suggests that an individual was born at a festive time of the year (such as Eyibi, a popular one in. Yoruba.

As the drought finally broke, the rain did not fall as a gentle mist but as a roar of thunder, announcing the era of Ajéwọlé the Star-Gatherer. His fame spread across the 16 kingdoms, and the palace of Ile-Aiye became a center for celestial study.
Ajéwọlé realized that his parents' union—the tempering of Moremi’s fire by Obafemi’s water—was the blueprint for the kingdom’s survival. To ensure this wisdom lived on, he established the Oṣù-Ìràwọ̀ (The Lunar-Star Order), a school for young seekers to learn the three pillars of Yorubaland astrology:
1. The Mapping of the Sixteen Orbs
Ajéwọlé codified the relationship between the 16 Principal Odu Ifá and the movement of the planets. He taught that:
Irawo Aguala (Venus): Governed by Oshun; when it shone brightly in the evening, it was the time for marriage contracts and artistic creation.
Irawo Tago (Saturn): Governed by Obatala; its slow movement dictated the long-term laws of the land and the building of stone monuments.
2. The Legacy of the Pebble
The glowing stone Ajéwọlé was born with was placed atop a Great Pillar in the center of the village. It acted as a Lítíìṣì (Cosmic Battery). During the New Moon (Oṣù Tuntun), the stone would hum. If the hum was deep, the month would be prosperous; if it was sharp and high-pitched, the elders knew to prepare for "heat" (conflict or sickness).
3. The Birth of the "Star-Name"
Ajéwọlé introduced a new naming tradition. Beyond the Orúkọ Àmútọ̀runwá, he gave children a Star-Path name. For example:
A child born during the peak of the Harmattan under the sign of Oya (the wind) might be named Efufu-Leye, meaning "The Wind has Honor," destined to be a messenger or a navigator.
The Final Prophecy
In his twilight years, Ajéwọlé sat with his aging mother, Moremi, whose hair was now as white as the beads of Obatala. He looked at the sky and saw a rare alignment—the Great Convergence of the Seven Orishas.
"Mother," he whispered, "I see a time far in the future where our people will cross the Great Water (the Atlantic). They will take the stars with them. Even in lands where the soil is different, the Irawọ̀ will remain the same. Our astrology will be the compass that brings them back to their Ori."
Moremi smiled, knowing her warrior heart had birthed a light that would never be extinguished. She closed h

Centuries passed, and the prophecy of the Great Water came to pass. The descendants of Moremi and Ajéwọlé were scattered across the Americas, but the Irawọ̀ (stars) stayed pinned to the velvet of the night, acting as a silent map for the displaced.
In a modern, bustling city far from the palm groves of Ile-Aiye, a young woman named Maya found herself standing before an old, weathered journal inherited from her grandmother. Maya had always felt a strange duality—a fierce ambition for social justice (the iron of Ogun) and a deep, intuitive need to heal through music (the flow of Oshun).
The Reawakening of the Star-Path
On the night of a rare Solar Eclipse, Maya opened the journal. Inside, she found a sketch of a glowing pebble and a chart of the sixteen orbs Ajéwọlé had codified. Though she lived in a world of skyscrapers, she felt the hum of her Ori (destiny) vibrating through the pages.
She realized her life wasn't a series of random events, but a continuation of the Akọsẹjayé (destiny at birth) written generations ago. Using the Yoruba Calendar notes in the journal, she calculated her birth alignment. She was a Child of the Crossroads, born when the wind of Oya met the stability of Obatala.
The Modern Oṣù-Ìràwọ̀
Maya didn't become a priestess in a grove; she became a Cosmological Architect. She used the ancient principles of Ifá Divination to design sustainable urban communities that breathed with the rhythms of the earth and stars.
Marital Harmony: When she met her partner, a researcher of ancient seeds, she didn't just look at their personalities. She looked at their Irawọ̀. Like Moremi and Obafemi, they were "the blade and the stream"—different elements that, when combined, created a strength that neither could achieve alone.
The Circle Closes
One evening, while walking through a park, Maya found a small, translucent stone near a riverbank. It wasn't the original pebble of Ajéwọlé, but as it caught the light of the rising moon, it glowed with a familiar amber hue.
She looked up at the sky, recognizing the "Eye of the Orisha" watching over her. The story of Moremi wasn't a myth of the past; it was a living, breathing Yoruba Philosophy of balance. The "Star-Gatherers" were still here, deciphering the heavens to guide the journey of the soul.
The fiction of Yorubaland astrology ends not with a "the end," but with an Àṣẹ—the power to make things happen. The stars are the map, the Orishas are the guides, but the Ori is the captain of the ship.
Should we conclude this cycle of the story, or would you like to explore a specific "Star-Path.
Maya gripped the amber stone, feeling a surge of Àṣẹ—the divine authority to manifest change. She realized that the "Great Water" her ancestor Ajéwọlé had seen was not just a barrier, but a bridge. The stars she looked at over the skyline were the same eyes that watched over the palace of Ile-Aiye.
The Digital Divination
To bridge the gap between her modern life and her ancient roots, Maya launched a project called The Irawọ̀ Network. It was a digital "Grove of Wisdom" where people of the diaspora could input their birth details to discover their Yoruba Zodiac and Orisha alignment.
She found that:
The Architects were often children of Ogun and Obatala, building structures that were both strong and ethically pure.
The Activists moved with the storm-spirit of Oya, tearing down old systems to make room for new growth.
The Healers flowed with the sweet waters of Oshun, using art and empathy to mend the fractured spirits of the city.
The Return to the Source
Years later, Maya traveled back to modern-day Nigeria, to the ancestral lands of Ile-Ife. She carried the amber stone and her grandmother’s journal. Standing before the Opa Oranmiyan, the great granite obelisk, she met a young man who looked remarkably like the sketches of Ajéwọlé.
He was a local astronomer named Tunde. He didn't use a glowing pebble; he used a high-powered telescope. Yet, when they compared notes—her digital data and his celestial observations—the patterns were identical. The "Great Convergence" Ajéwọlé had predicted centuries ago was happening again.
Marital Harmony of the New Era
Maya and Tunde’s meeting was no accident of the stars. In Yoruba astrology, this is known as Àyànmọ́—a destiny that cannot be avoided. Their union represented the final stitching together of the broken cloth of their lineage.
Maya (The Diaspora): Brought the wide-lens perspective of the world.
Tunde (The Root): Brought the deep, uninterrupted knowledge of the soil.
Their harmony wasn't just personal; it was cosmic. Together, they founded a new observatory in the hills of Yorubaland, where the Ifá Odu were studied alongside modern physics. They proved that the "fiction" of astrology was actually the science of the soul.
The story of Moremi’s line had come full circle. From a village threatened by drought to a global network of "Star-Gatherers," the light of the Orishas whare by continued to burn, proving that as long as one person looks at the stars and remembers their Ori, the ancestors never











OODUA'S ECHO: Fifty Sonnets On Yorubaland.part two

Moving from the ancient pillars of Ife, let's step into the electric pulse of the coast and the deep, metaphorical wisdom that guides a Yoruba heart.
XII. The Chaos of Eko
Where salt spray meets the fume of yellow bus,
The island breathes a frantic, neon prayer.
A million dreams are born in all this fuss,
With "No Condition Permanent" in the air.
From Third Mainland Bridge, the concrete spine,
To Makoko where stilts defy the tide,
The hustle is a vintage, potent wine,
With nowhere for a lazy soul to hide.
The Atlantic beats against the Bar Beach sand,
While skyscrapers reach up to touch the sun;
This is the gateway to the motherland,
Where every race is fought and barely won.
Though noise may drown the song of forest birds,
The city speaks in loud, defiant words.
XIII. The Palm-Wine Gourd
A frothing white is bubbling at the neck,
The tapper’s climb was high against the sky.
He risked his life for every sugary speck,
While eagles circled, watching from on high.
Around the circle, gourds begin to pass,
As bitterness and sweetness find a blend;
No need for silver plates or polished glass,
Just honesty between a friend and friend.
The Iyeku leaves a shadow on the ground,
As elders pour a drop for those below;
In every sip, a memory is found,
In every laugh, the ancient spirits know.
For truth is often found within the foam,
The liquid heart that calls the traveler home.
XIV. The Crossroads of Esu
Between the "Yes" and "No" he takes his seat,
The trickster god who holds the secret key.
Where three paths in the dusty village meet,
He tests the depth of our philosophy.
He is the one who turns the straight to curved,
To see if men will keep their word or break;
By his chaotic hand, the world is served,
And every soul must choose the path to take.
With black and white, his coat is split in two,
To show that truth depends on where you stand;
He challenges the old and mocks the new,
With all of human fate within his hand.
Do not mistake his mischief for a crime—
He is the clock that keeps the beat of time.
XV. The Wisdom of the Proverb
"The hand of the child cannot reach the shelf,"
"The hand of the elder cannot enter the jar."
No man is meant to live just for himself,
For we are bound to where our fathers are.
The river that forgets its ancient source
Will surely dry beneath the harmattan;
It is the proverb that directs our course,
And makes a noble leader of a man.
Softly, softly, the snail crawls through the thorn,
Patience is the mother of the king.
Through proverbs, every child is newly born,
To understand the weight of everything.
The word is like a horse; when truth is lost,
The proverbs find it no matter the cost.

XVI. The Rock of Abeokuta
A sanctuary carved in ancient stone,
The Olumo stands above the Egba land.
When war-drums shook the forest’s hollow bone,
The refugees took shelter in its hand.
Beneath the granite eaves, the fire stayed lit,
While lisabi kept watch against the night;
The spirit of the mountain gave them grit,
To turn the tide and win the desperate fight.
Today the stairs are worn by many feet,
Who come to see the city spread below—
Where rusty roofs and narrow alleys meet,
And brown and green in endless patterns flow.
The rock remains, a sentinel of grace,
The granite heart of all the Egba race.
XVII. The Juju Strings
The electric guitar begins a shimmering wail,
A liquid gold that flows through humid air.
It tells a modern, neon-lighted tale,
With talking drums to drive away despair.
From King Sunny’s fingers, rhythms leap and bound,
A synchro-system pulsing in the veins;
In every chord, the forest roots are found,
Escaping from the city’s concrete chains.
The dancers move as if the earth were fire,
In lace and silk that shimmer like the sea;
Highlife and Juju lift the spirit higher,
Into a world of rhythmic ecstasy.
The night is long, the beer is cold and bright,
As Yoruba music claims the African night.
XVIII. The Harmattan’s Veil
A ghost-white wind blows from the desert sand,
To wrap the forest in a dusty shroud.
The sun is but a coin above the land,
A muted fire behind a chalky cloud.
The skin turns dry, the thirsty rivers shrink,
And morning air is sharp as any blade;
The earth begins to crack at every brink,
As colors in the landscape start to fade.
Yet in this cold, the harvest finds its rest,
The yam is stored, the cocoa beans are dried;
Nature is putting beauty to the test,
With nowhere for the weary bird to hide.
Then comes the rain to wash the world anew,
And turn the dusty gray back into blue.
XIX. The Wisdom of Ifa
Sixteen palm nuts rattling in the hand,
The Opon dusted with the sacred wood.
The priest reads signs that few can understand,
To show the path of evil and of good.
Through Odu marks, the ancient stories rise,
Of gods and men, of sacrifice and fate;
The wisdom of the ages never dies,
It opens every locked and rusted gate.
"Orunmila knows the cure for every ill,"
The witness of the soul's primordial breath;
He bends the stubborn heart to heaven’s will,
And finds the bridge that crosses over death.
The wood is carved, the truth is written clear:
There is no room for doubt or trembling fear.

XX. The Amazon’s Echo
The borderlands still hum with tales of old,
Where Dahomey and Oyo clashed in fire.
The tales of female warriors, fierce and bold,
Who climbed the ramparts through the bloody mire.
With musket smoke and iron-bladed song,
They challenged every king and city wall;
The struggle of the forest, deep and long,
Where empires rose to bloom and then to fall.
But even in the heat of bitter strife,
The kinship of the soil remained the same;
The shared traditions of a tribal life
Outlasted every conquest and every name.
The scars of war are buried in the grass,
While songs of peace are hummed as travelers pass.
XXI. The Iroko’s Shadow
The king of trees stands silent in the glade,
With roots that grip the belly of the world.
A thousand years are gathered in its shade,
While history’s long banner is unfurled.
They say a spirit lives within the bark,
A giant soul that watches over men;
It glows with hidden light when woods are dark,
And breathes the morning back to life again.
No woodman lifts an axe against its height
Without a prayer to soothe the ancient wood;
It is the pillar of the forest’s might,
The symbol of the lasting and the good.
Though cities grow and forest edges shrink,
The Iroko remains our oldest link.
XXII. The Royal Orí
The inner head, the spirit’s secret guide,
A destiny we chose before our birth.
It is the quiet voice that walks inside,
To lead us through the labyrinth of earth.
"No god can bless a man," the elders say,
"If his own Orí does not grant the grace."
It clears the thorns and boulders from the way,
And gives the soul its character and face.
With oil and water, honor is bestowed
Upon the crown where thoughts and dreams reside;
For if the inner light has clearly flowed,
The man has nothing left he needs to hide.
Keep your head cool, for anger is a fire
That burns the very fruit of your desire.
XXIII. The Cocoa Harvest
The golden pods are hanging from the stem,
Like heavy jewels upon a verdant breast.
The farmer’s machete is a silver gem,
That puts the ripening season to the test.
The beans are spread on mats of woven reed,
To drink the sun until they turn to brown;
The wealth of nations from a tiny seed,
That builds the school and elevates the town.
The scent of ferment fills the village air,
A rich and earthy promise of the prize;
For every sweat-drenched brow and labor there,
The bounty of the land begins to rise.
From Western hills to markets far away,
The cocoa's gold sustains the modern day.

XXIV. The Weaver’s Loom
The shuttle flies across the narrow frame,
As Aso Oke grows beneath the hand.
Each pattern carries an ancestral name,
A woven map of this enduring land.
The Sanyan silk, the Alaari red,
The Etu dark as midnight's deep embrace;
A history is spun in every thread,
To clothe the noble children of the race.
At weddings where the drums begin to beat,
The heavy fabric shimmers in the light;
From head to toe, the beauty is complete,
A tapestry of elegance and might.
The loom may creak, the weaver’s hair turn gray,
But style like this shall never pass away.
XXV. The Egungun’s Dance
The ancestors return in silk and shroud,
To walk among the living once again.
Behind the mask, a voice both thin and proud
Reminds the world of things beyond our ken.
With swirling cloth and bells that softly chime,
The masquerade becomes a living flame;
A bridge across the jagged rifts of time,
Invoking every great and holy name.
The children scatter as the spirit nears,
A mix of holy dread and sudden joy;
The wisdom of a thousand vanished years
Is gathered in the charms they now employ.
The veil is thin between the earth and sky
When spirits dance and shadows multiply.

XXVI. The Bride’s Lament
The Ekún Iyàwó rises in the hall,
A daughter’s song before she leaves her home.
She honors every spirit, great and small,
Before she crosses over threshold’s foam.
She thanks the mother for the milk and care,
She thanks the father for the guiding hand;
Her voice is like a perfume in the air,
The sweetest music in the Yoruba land.
She weeps for childhood days that fly too fast,
Yet smiles for love that waits behind the door;
The future meets the shadows of the past,
As traditions wash upon the bridal floor.
A new branch grows upon the family tree,
Watered by tears and ancient melody.
XXVII. The Palm Oil Flame
A drop of red to soothe the angry soul,
The blood of earth that makes the engine run.
The heavy clusters fill the wooden bowl,
Ripened beneath the heat of southern sun.
It flavors every soup and every rite,
A golden grease that softens every blade;
It feeds the lamp that kills the forest night,
And blesses every bargain that is made.
"Oil is the water of the world," they say,
A healing balm for every skin and bone;
It keeps the ghosts of hunger far away,
And makes the taste of kinship clearly known.
From iron pot to ceremony's fire,
It is the fuel of every heart's desire.
Shall we move toward the majesty of the Alaafin’s Court or the folklore of the tortoise


XXVIII. The Alaafin’s Court
Within the shadows of the carved-wood porch,
The King of Oyo sits upon the skin.
The sun outside is like a golden torch,
But here, the heavy, silent laws begin.
The Oyo Mesi whisper in the hall,
The council's breath that keeps the crown in place;
For if a monarch trips, the world shall fall,
And bring a shadow to the nation’s face.
The brass and beaded staff are held with pride,
A history of horsemen and of plains;
Where justice and the ancient ways reside,
And royal blood still flows through living veins.
The gate is wide, the palace walls are high,
Under the gaze of Sango’s watchful eye.
XXIX. The Trickster’s Shell
The tortoise crawls through dust and tangled vine,
Ajapa, with a mind as sharp as glass.
He seeks a way to make the world align,
And watches for the greedy ones to pass.
He stole the wisdom of the world in one,
But dropped the gourd and let the secrets fly;
A lesson that is never truly done,
Under the vast and mocking forest sky.
He outwits lions and the mighty kings,
With nothing but a slow and steady lie;
The humor that the clever spirit brings,
When truth and hunger both begin to cry.
The shell is cracked from falls of long ago,
XXX. The Twin’s Delight
The Ibeji are the children of the sun,
Double the joy and double the divine.
Two spirits where the world had only one,
A lucky star that makes the household shine.
If one should leave and find the spirit shore,
The wooden image takes the empty place;
With oil and beans, the parents ask for more,
And wash the features of the carved-wood face.
They are the monkeys of the sacred wood,
Who bring the wealth and drive away the gloom;
A sign that everything is twice as good,
When nature doubles in the mother’s womb.
Give them the sweets, the beans, and palm oil bright,
For twins are masters of the soul’s deep light.
XXXI. The Yam Festival
The earth is opened with a grateful hand,
To bring the king of tubers to the light.
The Iyan drum is heard across the land,
To celebrate the end of hunger’s night.
The first new yam is offered to the ground,
Before a single mortal takes a bite;
In every village, dance and song abound,
To honor growth and nature’s holy might.
Pounded to velvet in the wooden bowl,
With egusi soup that shimmers like the sun;
It feeds the body and it feeds the soul,
Until the day of harvesting is done.
The soil is generous to those who wait,

XXXII. The Sacrifice of Moremi
The river swallowed up her only son,
The price she paid to set her people free.
By her brave heart, the victory was won,
And Ife rose from chains of misery.
She walked into the camp of Igbo foes,
A captive queen with secrets in her eyes;
She learned the source of all their hidden blows,
And stripped away their leafy, dark disguise.
When fire met the grass-clad forest ghosts,
The city cheered as every shadow fled;
But grief was waiting on the river coasts,
For every word the grieving mother said.
A golden name that history shall keep:
The queen who sowed so that a world could reap.
XXXIII. The Agemo’s Veil
From dark Ijebu woods the spirits rise,
Hidden by mats of woven, sacred grass.
No mortal man may look with naked eyes,
As through the silent streets the shadows pass.
The sixteen masks are moving to the beat,
Of drums that echo from the ancient root;
The dust is rising from their holy feet,
As every voice in Ijebuland is mute.
They carry blessings for the coming year,
The power of the earth in every fold;
A mystery that triumphs over fear,
With stories that can never be fully told.
The mats collapse, the spirits slip away,
Into the mist before the break of day.
XXXIV. The Scent of Egusi
The melon seeds are ground to golden snow,
To thicken up the broth of palm and green.
Where peppers red and pungent onions grow,
The finest soup that mortal eyes have seen.
The steam arises from the blackened pot,
A fragrant cloud of crayfish and of spice;
It is the anchor of the family lot,
Served with a mountain of the pounded rice.
The mother stirs with wood and steady grace,
While children wait with hunger in their eyes;
It brings a smile to every weary face,
Beneath the vast and orange evening skies.
From humble hut to palace of the king,
This is the taste of every goodly thing.
XXXV. The Village Square
The moon is bright above the Iroko tree,
Where children gather on the dusty ground.
"Aalo o!" the elder’s voice is free,
As tales of spirits and of men abound.
The cricket chirps a rhythm to the tale,
Of how the dog once brought the fire to earth;
Or how the greedy hawk began to fail,
And how the stars were given second birth.
It is the school of wisdom and of wit,
Where every riddle sharpens up the mind;
Around the fire where old and young may sit,
The ties of kin and character are twined.
The night grows late, the embers start to glow,
But stories have no end and nowhere else to go.

XXXVI. The Calabash Carver
With steady hand and needle made of steel,
he traces patterns on the sun-dried gourd.
A lexicon of symbols he’ll reveal,
where ancient myths and daily lives are stored.
He carves the lizard, sign of patient luck,
the sweeping curves of birds in sudden flight;
within the shell, the forest’s soul is stuck,
etched in the contrast of the dark and light.
From Oyo’s dusty stalls to distant shores,
these vessels hold the water and the wine;
they open up the spirit’s hidden doors,
where art and utility entwine.
The brittle skin becomes a sacred book,
for those who know the proper way to look.
XXXVII. The Egbado Frontier
The western plains where tall savannah grass
waves like the sea against the forest edge.
Where Egbado horsemen watched the seasons pass,
protecting every farm and rocky ledge.
A land of trade, of pepper and of salt,
where Yewa’s waters wander to the south;
where iron warriors brought the foe to halt,
with courage as their shield and word of mouth.
From Ilaro to hills of weathered stone,
the border-guardians kept the nation whole;
by strength of arm and spirit they are known,
the iron sinew of the Yoruba soul.
The drums of war have faded into peace,
but echoes of their valor never cease.
XXXVIII. The Sango Pipe
A puff of smoke against the purple sky,
the elder draws upon the wooden stem.
He watches as the thunder-clouds draw high,
and sparks of lightning jewel the heaven’s hem.
The tobacco glows, a small and earthly sun,
as stories of the lightning-king are told;
of battles fought and kingdoms lost and won,
and secrets that the heavy clouds can hold.
The scent of earth and burning leaf combined,
a quiet ritual in the evening air;
it settles every restless, wandering mind,
and lifts the burden of the daily care.
The storm begins to speak in muffled tones,
a vibration felt within the very bones.
XXXIX. The Kola Nut’s Prayer
"He who brings kola, brings the gift of life,"
the host declares and breaks the nut in four.
A simple wedge to end the social strife,
and open up the hospitality door.
With bitter taste that turns to sudden sweet,
it clears the throat and sharpens every word;
wherever friends and strangers chance to meet,
the clicking of the broken shell is heard.
The lobes are cast to see what fate may hold,
to ask the spirits if the path is clear;
a ritual more valuable than gold,
to banish every doubt and every fear.
Across the world, the Yorubas will share
this nut of peace, a small and crunchy prayer.

XL. The Night Hunter
Across the threshold of the forest floor,
The Ode moves with silver in his eyes.
He knows the secret of the hidden door,
Where leopard stalks and heavy python lies.
His flintlock rifle smells of ancient rust,
His charms are tied in leather, dark and worn;
He walks in silence through the leafy dust,
To guard the village until break of morn.
The Ijala chant is whispered to the trees,
A poem for the spirits of the game;
His presence is the chill upon the breeze,
The protector without a public name.
When shadows deepen in the Iroko's height,
He is the king and master of the night.
XLI. The Ooni’s Beaded Veil
From the high throne of Ife, source of all,
The monarch looks through rows of tiny glass.
Behind the veil, he hears the spirit call,
And watches centuries of shadows pass.
The beaded fringes hide the mortal face,
To show the crown is older than the man;
He is the living vessel of the race,
Whose sacred line before the world began.
Each bead a story, sapphire, gold, and red,
A universe upon a velvet frame;
The wisdom of the living and the dead,
Invoked in every royal, whispered name.
The world may change its colors and its skin,
But Ife’s light remains the heart within.
XLII. The Harmattan Fire
A spark is dropped upon the tinder grass,
And suddenly the world is orange light.
The crackling waves of heat and fury pass,
To turn the dusty brown to charcoal night.
It clears the path for yams and new-born seed,
A cleansing flame that eats the tangled thorn;
It satisfies the hungry planet’s need,
Before the green of April is reborn.
The kites and hawks circle the rising smoke,
To catch the insects fleeing from the heat;
Nature discards her old and weary cloak,
With blackened earth beneath the farmer's feet.
Destruction is the sister of the birth,
The phoenix-fire that wakes the sleeping earth.
XLIII. The Laughter of the Market
"The price is high!" the clever buyer cries,
"My children have not eaten for a week."
The seller laughs and rolls her heavy eyes,
With dimples carved within her polished cheek.
"This cloth was woven by a queen's own hand!"
"This yam was blessed by Sango’s very breath!"
The greatest theater in the Yoruba land,
A dance of wit that triumphs over death.
The haggling is a music, sharp and sweet,
Where copper coins and paper notes are exchanged;
From Lagos port to Oyo’s dusty street,
The world of men is daily rearranged.
No bargain is complete without a jest,
For joy is where the commerce finds its rest.
XLIV. The River’s Secret
Deep in the silt where silver catfish play,
The goddess Osun hides her brassy wealth.
She turns the heavy darkness into day,
And brings the barren mother back to health.
She does not need the thunder or the blade,
Her power is the cool and constant flow;
Within the sanctuary’s dappled shade,
The secrets of the water start to grow.
"Water has no enemy," the people sing,
A liquid grace that washes every stain;
It is the heart of every living thing,
The answer to the longing and the pain.
Through forest deep and city’s concrete wall,
The river’s voice is rising over all.


XLV. The Abiku’s Choice
Between the world of light and shadows deep,
The wanderer comes and goes with restless feet.
A promise that the mother cannot keep,
Where bitter sorrow and the sunshine meet.
"You shall not go again," the elders pray,
And bind the ankles with a copper ring;
To coax the silver spirit-child to stay,
And taste the joys that earthly seasons bring.
They give the child a name to break the spell:
"Stay with us now," or "Do not die again."
A secret story that the scars will tell,
Of love that triumphs over ancient pain.
The cycle breaks when heart and earth align,
To turn the human into the divine.
XLVI. The Orisha Across the Sea
The wooden ships sailed out on salty tears,
To shores of cane, of coffee, and of lime.
But in the soul, through all the heavy years,
The gods survived the cruelty of time.
In Cuba’s drums, the Sango pulse is found,
In Brazil’s light, the Osun waters flow;
The Diaspora is now the holy ground,
Where seeds of Ife's wisdom start to grow.
Though languages may blend and names may shift,
The Omo Oodua stand with pride;
A cultural and indestructible gift,
Carried across the ocean’s rising tide.
The world is wide, but the ancestral root
Still bears the sweetest, most enduring fruit.
XLVII. The Elder’s Staff
The Opa leans against the mud-brick wall,
Carved from the heart of hard mahogany.
It held the man when he was straight and tall,
And holds him now in his autonomy.
A third leg for the journey to the end,
A witness to the proverbs and the law;
It is a silent and a steady friend,
That sees what younger eyes have never saw.
With every silver hair, a story grows,
Of wars survived and children’s children born;
The elder is the river, for he knows
How many tides the ancient banks have worn.
Respect the staff, the gray hair, and the gait,
For in their presence, we approach the great.
XLVIII. The Feast of Amala
The dark flour swirls within the boiling pot,
Turned by the strength of a rhythmic wooden spoon.
Until the lumps are gone and it is hot,
And smooth as shadows underneath the moon.
With Gbegiri and Ewedu on the side,
A trinity of taste upon the plate;
It is the Oyo person's greatest pride,
A meal that makes a common man feel great.
The fingers dip into the velvet mound,
A communal joy that brings the circle near;
In every steaming bowl, the home is found,
A remedy for every doubt and fear.
The belly full, the spirit finds its rest,
Of all the forest's gifts, this is the best.
XLIX. The Future’s Pattern
The student sits before the glowing screen,
In Lagos labs or London’s rainy street.
But in the code, the ancient signs are seen,
Where binary and Ifa symbols meet.
The pattern of the world is ever-new,
Yet built upon the logic of the past;
The Yoruba mind is bold and ever-true,
In a world that moves and changes very fast.
From medicine to music’s neon glow,
The heritage is fuel for the flight;
The more the branches of the nation grow,
The more they seek the source of Ife’s light.
The crown is gold, but plastic is the tool,
As wisdom finds a modern, global school.
L. The Eternal Land
Fifty songs for the land of bronze and sun,
For every hill and every sacred stream.
The journey of the soul is never done,
Within this vibrant and enduring dream.
From Oduduwa’s chain to Lagos' shore,
The heart of Yoruba beats a steady drum;
It survived the storms of history and war,
And waits for all the glories yet to come.
Oh, land of proverbs, lace, and indigo,
Of talking drums and wisdom deep and wide;
Wherever your courageous children go,
They carry all your majesty inside.
The sun may set, but stars begin to shine,
Upon a nation, ancient and divine.


Since we have completed the core cycle of fifty sonnets, I have composed a final "Coda"—four additional sonnets that serve as an epilogue. These poems reflect on the unity of the Yoruba spirit, the power of the language, the legacy of the mothers, and a final blessing for the land.

The Yoruba speech is music on the tongue,
Where tone and pitch can change a world of sense.
A language that was old when time was young,
With meanings deep and proverbs quite intense.
To say "to buy" is not to say "to sit,"
A rising note can turn a "tree" to "fire."
It is a puzzle carved with poets' wit,
That lifts the soul’s expression ever higher.
In every Ekule and morning greet,
The social fabric weaves itself anew;
A melody that's heard on every street,
As constant as the morning’s silver dew.
Though other tongues may try to take its place,
This is the heartbeat of a noble race.
LII. The Great Mother (Iyami)
The birds of night sit silent on the bough,
The mothers who command the hidden wind.
With silver hair and wisdom on the brow,
They see the secrets that the heart has sinned.
They hold the calabash of life and death,
The guardians of the womb and of the grave;
They are the rhythm of the city’s breath,
The ones who punish and the ones who save.
Respect the woman in her quiet power,
For she is the foundation of the home;
She is the roots and they are but the flower,
No matter how the restless children roam.
The world is balanced by her steady hand,
The silent queen of all the Yoruba land.
LIII. The Rusty Roofs
Ibadan spreads beneath the midday glare,
A sea of copper, brown, and weathered gold.
The scent of woodsmoke fills the humid air,
Where stories of a thousand years are told.
The "running splash of rust" the poet sang,
Still ripples over hills of ancient clay;
Where iron bells and palace gongs once rang,
And modern life still finds its hectic way.
From Mapo Hall to markets in the glen,
The city is a sprawling, living heart;
A sanctuary for the sons of men,
Where history and future never part.
Beneath the rust, the spirit stays as bright
As stars that decorate the forest night.
LIV. The Final Blessing
May Osun’s water always keep you cool,
May Ogun sharpen every tool you hold.
May Sango’s justice be your constant rule,
And Ifa’s wisdom turn your dross to gold.
May Esu never lead your feet astray,
Except to find a truth you did not know;
May ancestors protect you every day,
And make the seeds of all your labors grow.
The fifty songs are finished, but the land
Is writing new ones with each rising sun;
Held in the hollow of the Creator’s hand,
The story of the race has just begun.
Go forth with pride and let your spirit shine,
For you are born of lineage divine.




















February 12, 2026

The Ghost Of Christmas


The Ghost of Christmas Future-Proofing
Characters:
SCROOGE: A modern tech CEO in a turtleneck.
GHOST: A digital projection appearing on a smart mirror.
Setting: A minimalist penthouse.
SCROOGE: (Tapping his watch) You’re late. My calendar had this haunting scheduled for 11:00 PM. It’s 11:04.
GHOST: THE QUANTUM STREAM IS UNSTABLE, EBENEZER. DO YOU WISH TO SEE THE FUTURE?
SCROOGE: Is it profitable? If it’s just more scenes of people crying over gravestones, I’ll pass. We’ve pivoted to a "wellness" focus this quarter.
GHOST: IN THIS FUTURE, YOUR COMPANY HAS COLLAPSED. YOUR APPS ARE MALWARE. YOUR SERVERS ARE BIRD NESTS.
SCROOGE: (Writing on a tablet) "Bird nests"... so, eco-friendly infrastructure? That’s a win for the ESG report.
GHOST: PEOPLE ARE HAPPY, SCROOGE. THEY ARE TALKING TO EACH OTHER. IN PERSON.
SCROOGE: (Horrified) Without an interface? No data tracking? That’s a nightmare. Show me the gravestone. I prefer the gravestone.
GHOST: IT SAYS: "HE HAD GREAT WIFI, BUT NO FRIENDS."
[BLACKOUT]
Characters:
DETECTIVE MILLER: Gritty, tired, holding a flashlight.
BEE: A woman in her 30s, holding a very calm tabby cat.
Setting: A messy kitchen. A broken vase lies on the floor.
BEE: Detective, he’s a cat. He was asleep on the radiator.
MILLER: That’s what he wants you to think. Look at those paws. Clean. Too clean. Like he’s scrubbed the evidence.
BEE: It was a $5 vase from Ikea. I’ll just buy another one.
MILLER: It’s not about the vase, Bee. It’s about the message. First the vase, then the curtains, then... total anarchy. (To the cat) Who are you working for? The Siamese down the street?
(The cat blinks slowly and begins to purr.)
MILLER: He’s mocking me. The vibration... it’s a code.
BEE: He’s purring because he wants treats.
MILLER: (Leaning in close) Or he’s jammin' my surveillance equipment. I’m taking him in for questioning.
BEE: You are not taking my cat to the station.
MILLER: Fine. But tell him this: We found the catnip stash under the sofa. The DA is gonna have a field day.
[BLACKOUT]
The Last Stand at the Buffet
Characters:
DAVE: A man holding a plate like a shield.
LINDA: A woman armed with a serving spoon.
Setting: A wedding buffet line. The shrimp cocktail is almost gone.
DAVE: Back away, Linda. I saw the cocktail sauce first.
LINDA: You already have six egg rolls, Dave. Your plate is a structural hazard.
DAVE: I’m eating for two. Me and my inner child, who was deprived of seafood in the 90s.
LINDA: (Points spoon) There is one jumbo shrimp left. If you touch it, I tell the bride you’re the one who tipped over the ice sculpture.
DAVE: (Freezes) You wouldn’t.
LINDA: Try me. I’ve got photos of the "puddle" you created.
DAVE: (Slowly lowers his fork) You’re ruthless.
LINDA: I’m hungry. There’s a difference.
[BLACKOUT]




SCROOGE: Can we change the font to Helvetica?
The Interrogation of Mr. Fluffles
MILLER: (Shining light on the cat) Where were you at 19:00 hours, "Fluffles

The Oxygen Tax


The Oxygen Tax
Characters:
REED: A scavenger in a patched-up spacesuit.
OFFICER ZANE: A sleek, corporate guard with a digital scanner.
Setting: A desolate, airless moon colony. A single oxygen terminal glows blue.
REED: It’s a glitch, Zane. I paid for the "Deep Breath" package this morning.
ZANE: (Scanning Reed’s neck) My readout says you’ve been hyperventilating, Reed. That’s unauthorized consumption of premium grade O2.
REED: I was running! A lunar-rat tried to take my boot!
ZANE: Panic is a luxury. The company doesn't subsidize adrenaline. You owe three credits or I lock the valve.
REED: (Gasping slightly) I’ve got two credits and a half-charged battery.
REED: It’s vintage! Look, just give me a liter. Enough to get back to the hab.
ZANE: Tell you what. I’ll give you thirty seconds of flow if you tell me where you hid that stash of canned peaches you found in the wreckage.
REED: (Beat) You’d trade life-saving air for syrup?
ZANE: It’s a very dry moon, Reed.
REED: ...Bottom of the South Crater. Under the solar panel.
(ZANE turns the valve. A hiss of air fills the space. REED inhales like a drowning man.)
ZANE: Pleasure doing business. Don’t run on the way home. It’s expensive.
[BLACKOUT]
The Duel of the Decades
Characters:
LORD BYRON: A 19th-century poet, dramatic and ruffled.
CHAD: A 21st-century "influencer" with a tripod.
Setting: A misty, purgatory-like moor.
BYRON: (Brandishing a quill) You dare challenge my legacy with your... "TikToks"? I have bled ink for the soul of man!
CHAD: Bro, your "soul of man" doesn't have a high engagement rate. I have four million followers. How many copies of Don Juan did you sell in the first twenty-four hours?
BYRON: I was the scandal of Europe! Women fainted at the mention of my name!
CHAD: Yeah, well, I have a brand deal with a protein powder company. I’m "physically aesthetic." You’re just... damp.
BYRON: I wrote of the mountains, the sea, the eternal yearning of the spirit!
CHAD: (Adjusting his ring light) That’s cool, but can you do the "Renegade" dance? If you don't have a hook in the first three seconds, people just swipe past your yearning, man.
BYRON: (Looks at the quill, defeated) Is there no room for the sublime?
CHAD: There’s room for a "Get Ready With Me" video. "GRWM: Writing a Poem about Sadness (Sponcon)."
BYRON: (Sighs) Give me the glowing rectangle. I shall learn of this "filter."
[BLACKOUT]
The Script Doctor
Characters:
WRITER: Disheveled, surrounded by crumpled paper.
THE MUSE: A woman in a business suit holding a shredder.
Setting: A dark office.
WRITER: It’s my masterpiece! A six-hour epic about the history of salt!
MUSE: (Feeds a page into the shredder) Too salty.
WRITER: Hey! That was the climax! The Great Sodium Riot of 1648!
MUSE: Nobody cares about salt, Arthur. They want "relatable content." Make the salt a metaphor for a broken marriage.
WRITER: But I’ve done the research! I have maps!
MUSE: (Picks up another page) "Scene 14: The Molecule Speaks." No. Molecules don't have character arcs.
WRITER: This one does! He’s lonely! He’s looking for a Chloride to his Sodium!
MUSE: (Pause) Is there a love triangle?
WRITER: With a Potassium atom, yes.
MUSE: ...Keep writing. But lose the maps.
[BLACKOUT]





OODUA'S ECHO:Fifty Sonnets On Yorubaland.part one

OODUA’S ECHO
Fifty Sonnets on Yorubaland
An Original Collection
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Canto I: The Foundations of the Earth
The Descent at Ife (VIII) – The creation of the world.
The Forge of Ogun (I) – The birth of iron and civilization.
The Crown of Idanre (IV) – The sacred hills.
The Iroko’s Shadow (XXI) – The sentinel of the forest.
The Staff of Oranmiyan (XI) – The pillar of history.
Canto II: The Deities and the Deep
6. The Thunder King (VI) – The majesty of Sango.
7. The Sacred Grove (III) – The river of Osun.
8. The Crossroads of Esu (XIV) – The trickster’s wisdom.
9. The Wisdom of Ifa (XXXIX) – The binary of the divine.
10. The River’s Secret (XLIV) – Water as the source of life.
Canto III: Kings, Queens, and Conflict
11. The Alaafin’s Court (XXVIII) – The power of Old Oyo.
12. The Sacrifice of Moremi (XXXII) – The heroine of Ife.
13. Sungbo’s Eredo (IX) – The great ramparts of Ijebu.
14. The Amazon’s Echo (XX) – The female warriors.
15. The Ooni’s Beaded Veil (XLI) – The sacred monarchy.
Canto IV: The Fabric of Life
16. The Indigo Vat (V) – The art of Adire.
17. The Weaver’s Loom (XXIV) – The legacy of Aso Oke.
18. The Calabash Carver (XXXVI) – Etching history on the gourd.
19. The Palm-Wine Gourd (XIII) – The liquid heart of fellowship.
20. The Scent of Egusi (XXXIV) – The flavor of home.
Canto V: Rhythms of the People
21. Gangan’s Echo (II) – The speech of the talking drum.
22. The Market’s Song (VII) – The pulse of commerce.
23. The Juju Strings (XVII) – The electric sound of the night.
24. The Village Square (XXXV) – Tales told by moonlight.
25. The Chaos of Eko (XII) – The energy of Lagos.


















Majestic Tree Sprawling Roots Sunset Landscape Stock Photos ...
Majestic Tree Sprawling Roots Sunset Landscape Stock Photos ...
Dreamstime.com
Majestic Olive Tree Dominating the Sunset Landscape Painting ...
Majestic Olive Tree Dominating the Sunset Landscape Painting ...
Dreamstime.com
OODUA’S ECHO
An Original Collection of Fifty Sonnets
INTRODUCTION
This collection is a poetic journey through the soul of Yorubaland. Each sonnet is crafted in the Shakespearean form—fourteen lines of iambic pentameter—to house the rich, tonal complexity of Yoruba Culture. From the Sacred Groves of Osogbo to the bustling streets of Lagos, these poems celebrate a legacy that remains "as old as stars." 
CANTO I: ANCESTRAL ORIGINS
I. The Forge of Ogun
Where iron meets the heat of ancient fire...
IV. The Crown of Idanre
High where the granite shoulders touch the mist...
VIII. The Descent at Ife
Before the world was firm beneath the feet, / A golden chain descended from the height...
XI. The Staff of Oranmiyan
A granite pillar stands in Ife's land, / Studded with iron nails of ancient smiths...
CANTO II: SACRED RHYTHMS
II. Gangan’s Echo
The talking drum begins its hollow call, / A language carved in wood and tensioned skin...
VI. The Thunder King
The heavens crack with Sango’s sudden ire, / A double-axe etched in the purple cloud...
X. The Arugba’s Path
The votary maid steps out in robes of white, / The brass-rimmed calabash upon her head...
XIV. The Crossroads of Esu
Between the "Yes" and "No" he takes his seat, / The trickster god who holds the secret key...
CANTO III: TRADITIONS & CRAFTS
V. The Indigo Vat
A woman leans above the earthen pot, / Her fingers stained with deep and midnight blue...
XXIV. The Weaver’s Loom
The shuttle flies across the narrow frame, / As Aso Oke grows beneath the hand...
XXX. The Twin’s Delight
The Ibeji are the children of the sun, / Double the joy and double the divine...
XXXIX. The Kola Nut’s Prayer
"He who brings kola, brings the gift of life," / The host declares and breaks the nut in four...
CANTO IV: THE MODERN VIBRATION
XII. The Chaos of Eko
Where salt spray meets the fume of yellow bus, / The island breathes a frantic, neon prayer...
XVII. The Juju Strings
The electric guitar begins a shimmering wail, / A liquid gold that flows through humid air...
XLVI. The Orisha Across the Sea
The wooden ships sailed out on salty tears... / But in the soul... the gods survived the cruelty of time.
L. The Eternal Land
Fifty songs for the land of bronze and sun... / The story of the race has just begun.
GLOSSARY OF TERMS
Adire: Traditional indigo-dyed textile.
Gangan: The iconic Yoruba Talking Drum.
Ibeji: The sacred spirit of twins.
Opun Ifa: The wooden divination tray used by priests.

SAMPLE ENTRY: SONNET I
THE FORGE OF OGUN
Where iron meets the heat of ancient fire,
The son of Sango dances on the blade.
No spirit of the wood shall ever tire
While Ogun’s path through forest green is made.
The palm wine flows to cool the burning throat,
As hammers strike a rhythm sharp and loud;
Upon the wind, the hunter’s praises float,
Beneath the gaze of hills wrapped in a shroud.
Oh, land of bronze and earth-toned majesty,
Where kings descend from lines of Oranmiyan,
Your stories bloom in deep mahogany,
As old as stars that lit the first dawn's span.
The anvil speaks what silver cannot say:
That strength is born in fire every day.
AUTHOR’S PREFACE
This collection was written to honor the Yoruba people, whose influence spans from the Osun-Osogbo Sacred Grove to the streets of Bahia and Havana. These sonnets utilize the traditional Shakespearean form to house the ancient rhythms of Yoruba Orature, proving

II. Gangan’s Echo
The talking drum begins its hollow call,
A language carved in wood and tensioned skin.
It speaks to every hut and palace wall,
Of where we end and where the gods begin.
From Ile-Ife, the cradle of the light,
To Ibadan, where rusty brown roofs spread,
The gangan pulse awakens through the night,
To wake the living and to honor dead.
A tapestry of indigo and gold,
The Adire tells a tale of hand and dye;
The secrets that the elders have not told
Are written in the vastness of the sky.
Oodua’s children, scattered far and wide,
Still feel the tug of Olokun’s deep tide.
III. The Sacred Grove
The Osun river winds through silent trees,
Where silver fish reflect the dappled sun.
The prayers of mothers drift upon the breeze,
For every life that has not yet begun.
The white-robed priestess bows before the stream,
Where brass and cooling water merge as one;
The forest is a living, breathing dream,
Before the frantic city is begun.
From Lagos' shore to Oyo’s dusty plain,
The Iroko stands a sentinel of grace,
Enduring through the sun and seasonal rain,
To guard the spirit of this holy place.
Though modern ways may mask the ancient face,
The heart of Yoruba keeps its steady pace.


High where the granite shoulders touch the mist,
The ancient hills of Idanre arise.
By cooling winds and golden sunlight kissed,
They guard the secrets of the southern skies.
Six hundred steps the weary traveler climbs
To reach the peak where silence holds its breath,
Away from bustling streets and modern crimes,
To where the spirit triumphs over death.
The Owa’s palace rests in weathered stone,
A testament to power carved in earth;
Here, time is measured by the wind alone,
In heights that saw the very nation’s birth.
The valley sleeps beneath a verdant veil,
While up above, the mountain tells its tale.
V. The Indigo Vat
A woman leans above the earthen pot,
Her fingers stained with deep and midnight blue.
The Adire patterns, tied in tightest knot,
Bring ancient symbols into vision new.
She draws the Eléko with a steady hand—
The comb, the bird, the crossroads, and the moon—
A visual proverb spread across the land,
To be a bride’s most celebrated boon.
From Abeokuta’s rocks, the dye is spun,
The scent of sulfur rising from the ground;
Under the steady heat of noon-day sun,
The beauty of the heritage is found.
Though cloth may fray as seasons turn to years,
The indigo outlasts a thousand tears.
VI. The Thunder King
The heavens crack with Sango’s sudden ire,
A double-axe etched in the purple cloud.
The sky is lit with streaks of jagged fire,
While thunder bellows, terrifying and loud.
The King of Koso does not speak in vain;
His justice strikes with swift and heavy force.
He brings the cleansing fury of the rain,
To keep the moral world upon its course.
With Oya at his side, the whirlwind's breath,
He dances on the edge of storm and light;
A power that defies the reach of death,
Arrayed in crimson, shimmering and bright.
Let liars tremble when the clouds turn gray,
For Sango’s truth will always find its way.
VII. The Market’s Song
Before the sun has cleared the forest rim,
The Iyaloja wakes to claim the day.
The morning mist is ghostly, white, and dim,
As baskets fill in colorful array.
A symphony of barter, shout, and jest,
Where pepper, yam, and palm oil find their price;
The marketplace is where the pulse is best,
A swirling world of labor and of spice.
From Oja-Oba’s gates to narrow lanes,
The commerce of a thousand years survives;
It flows through Yoruba blood and through the veins
Of those who build their cities and their lives.
Amidst the noise, a steady wisdom grows:
The river of the people always flows.
Shall I proceed with sonnets regarding the Oshun-Osogbo Festival or perhaps the legendary walls of Sungbo's Eredo?
AI can make mistakes, so double-check responses


IV. The Crown of Idanre

Here are four more original sonnets, moving into the sacred origins of the world and the monumental legacies of the Ijebu and Ife kingdoms.
VIII. The Descent at Ife
Before the world was firm beneath the feet,
A golden chain descended from the height.
Where sky and boundless water used to meet,
Oduduwa brought the first seeds of the light.
A handful of the earth, a five-toed bird,
To spread the soil across the shifting deep.
The word of Olodumare then was heard,
While Obatala lay in drunken sleep.
The sacred cock scratched out the holy ground,
Till Ile-Ife rose, the world’s true heart.
Where every royal lineage is bound,
And every ancient wisdom had its start.
The chain remains, though hidden from the eye,
The silver link between the earth and sky.
IX. Sungbo’s Eredo
Deep in the rainforest where shadows play,
The earth is carved in trenches wide and deep.
One hundred miles of ramparts stretch away,
Where Bilikisu Sungbo’s secrets sleep.
A childless widow, rich in gold and slaves,
Who built a wall to keep her name alive.
The mossy banks above the silent graves
Show how the works of mighty queens survive.
Some say she was the Sheba of the East,
Who tested Solomon with riddles bold.
Though centuries of jungle have increased,
The majesty of Eredo is told.
A mountain moved by hand and iron blade,
A monument the forest could not fade.
X. The Arugba’s Path
The votary maid steps out in robes of white,
The brass-rimmed calabash upon her head.
She carries all the prayers for sun and light,
And follows where the ancient hunters led.
Through Osogbo’s streets, the pressing thousands wait,
To see the virgin princess pass them by.
She bears the burden for the city's state,
Beneath the humid, graying August sky.
The Osun River waits with cooling breath,
To take the sacrifice the goddess craves.
A pact that triumphs over drought and death,
Renewed within the ripples of the waves.
"Ore Yeye Osun!" the people cry,
As life and water merge and multiply.
XI. The Staff of Oranmiyan
A granite pillar stands in Ife's land,
Studded with iron nails of ancient smiths.
The staff of Oranmiyan, tall and grand,
A stone-carved bridge between the men and myths.
The youngest son who founded Oyo’s throne,
And gave the Benin kings their royal line.
His strength is etched within this silent stone,
A warrior’s mark, both human and divine.
When enemies once gathered at the gate,
The people called his name across the air.
He rose from earth to challenge every fate,
And left his mighty sword embedded there.
Now time may weather every granite face,
But cannot shake the pillar of the race.
Would you like the next set to explore Yoruba proverbs and philosophical wisdom, or should we move toward the modern energy of cities like Lagos?
 in the 19th Century. 

High where the granite shoulders touch the mist,
The ancient hills of Idanre arise.
By cooling winds and golden sunlight kissed,
They guard the secrets of the southern skies.
Six hundred steps the weary traveler climbs
To reach the peak where silence holds its breath,
Away from bustling streets and modern crimes,
To where the spirit triumphs over death.
The Owa’s palace rests in weathered stone,
A testament to power carved in earth;
Here, time is measured by the wind alone,
In heights that saw the very nation’s birth.
The valley sleeps beneath a verdant veil,
While up above, the mountain tells its tale.
V. The Indigo Vat
A woman leans above the earthen pot,
Her fingers stained with deep and midnight blue.
The Adire patterns, tied in tightest knot,
Bring ancient symbols into vision new.
She draws the Eléko with a steady hand—
The comb, the bird, the crossroads, and the moon—
A visual proverb spread across the land,
To be a bride’s most celebrated boon.
From Abeokuta’s rocks, the dye is spun,
The scent of sulfur rising from the ground;
Under the steady heat of noon-day sun,
The beauty of the heritage is found.
Though cloth may fray as seasons turn to years,
The indigo outlasts a thousand tears.
VI. The Thunder King
The heavens crack with Sango’s sudden ire,
A double-axe etched in the purple cloud.
The sky is lit with streaks of jagged fire,
While thunder bellows, terrifying and loud.
The King of Koso does not speak in vain;
His justice strikes with swift and heavy force.
He brings the cleansing fury of the rain,
To keep the moral world upon its course.
With Oya at his side, the whirlwind's breath,
He dances on the edge of storm and light;
A power that defies the reach of death,
Arrayed in crimson, shimmering and bright.
Let liars tremble when the clouds turn gray,
For Sango’s truth will always find its way.
VII. The Market’s Song
Before the sun has cleared the forest rim,
The Iyaloja wakes to claim the day.
The morning mist is ghostly, white, and dim,
As baskets fill in colorful array.
A symphony of barter, shout, and jest,
Where pepper, yam, and palm oil find their price;
The marketplace is where the pulse is best,
A swirling world of labor and of spice.
From Oja-Oba’s gates to narrow lanes,
The commerce of a thousand years survives;
It flows through Yoruba blood and through the veins
Of those who build their cities and their lives.
Amidst the noise, a steady wisdom grows:
The river of the people always flows.
Shall I proceed with sonnets regarding the Oshun-Osogbo Festival or perhaps the legendary walls of Sungbo's Eredo?
AI can make mistakes, so double-check responses


IV. The Crown of Idanre

Here are four more original sonnets, moving into the sacred origins of the world and the monumental legacies of the Ijebu and Ife kingdoms.
VIII. The Descent at Ife
Before the world was firm beneath the feet,
A golden chain descended from the height.
Where sky and boundless water used to meet,
Oduduwa brought the first seeds of the light.
A handful of the earth, a five-toed bird,
To spread the soil across the shifting deep.
The word of Olodumare then was heard,
While Obatala lay in drunken sleep.
The sacred cock scratched out the holy ground,
Till Ile-Ife rose, the world’s true heart.
Where every royal lineage is bound,
And every ancient wisdom had its start.
The chain remains, though hidden from the eye,
The silver link between the earth and sky.
IX. Sungbo’s Eredo
Deep in the rainforest where shadows play,
The earth is carved in trenches wide and deep.
One hundred miles of ramparts stretch away,
Where Bilikisu Sungbo’s secrets sleep.
A childless widow, rich in gold and slaves,
Who built a wall to keep her name alive.
The mossy banks above the silent graves
Show how the works of mighty queens survive.
Some say she was the Sheba of the East,
Who tested Solomon with riddles bold.
Though centuries of jungle have increased,
The majesty of Eredo is told.
A mountain moved by hand and iron blade,
A monument the forest could not fade.
X. The Arugba’s Path
The votary maid steps out in robes of white,
The brass-rimmed calabash upon her head.
She carries all the prayers for sun and light,
And follows where the ancient hunters led.
Through Osogbo’s streets, the pressing thousands wait,
To see the virgin princess pass them by.
She bears the burden for the city's state,
Beneath the humid, graying August sky.
The Osun River waits with cooling breath,
To take the sacrifice the goddess craves.
A pact that triumphs over drought and death,
Renewed within the ripples of the waves.
"Ore Yeye Osun!" the people cry,
As life and water merge and multiply.
XI. The Staff of Oranmiyan
A granite pillar stands in Ife's land,
Studded with iron nails of ancient smiths.
The staff of Oranmiyan, tall and grand,
A stone-carved bridge between the men and myths.
The youngest son who founded Oyo’s throne,
And gave the Benin kings their royal line.
His strength is etched within this silent stone,
A warrior’s mark, both human and divine.
When enemies once gathered at the gate,
The people called his name across the air.
He rose from earth to challenge every fate,
And left his mighty sword embedded there.
Now time may weather every granite face,
But cannot shake the pillar of the race.















The Last Cookie

The Last Cookie
Characters:
MOM: Holding a plate with one chocolate chip cookie.
TIMMY: (7) Looking innocent.
JANIE: (9) Looking accusatory.
Setting: A kitchen island.
MOM: I found the crumbs in the LEGO bin. This is your last chance to come clean.
TIMMY: It was a ghost. A ghost who likes sugar.
TIMMY: He was a very realistic ghost.
MOM: Janie, you were supposed to be guarding the kitchen.
JANIE: I was! But then the WiFi went down and I had to go to the router. It was a coordinated attack! Timmy pulled the plug!
TIMMY: (Defensive) I was checking the electrical safety!
TIMMY: (Looking at the halves) Her half is bigger.
JANIE: It’s literally the same, Timmy.
MOM: (Eats both halves) Now no one has to worry about the math. Go to bed.
[BLACKOUT]



VICTOR: It’s buried beneath the "Peloton." You’ll need a shovel and a great deal of cardio.
GARY: Do you think... do you think we could just... walk off set?
JANIE: A ghost with Timmy’s exact fingerprints on the glass jar?
MOM: (Sighs, breaks the cookie in half) Here.
continue
The Case of the Barking Alibi
INSPECTOR HAWTHORNE: A weary human detective.
BARNABY: A Golden Retriever wearing a small "Police" vest.
Setting: A manor library. A man lies "dead" (a mannequin) on the rug.
HAWTHORNE: Alright, Barnaby. The victim was poisoned. The glass is clean. No prints. What do your instincts tell you?
(BARNABY sniffs the mannequin intensely, then walks to the fireplace and starts wagging his tail at a suit of armor.)
HAWTHORNE: The armor? You think the killer is hiding inside? (He opens the visor; it’s empty.) Nothing. Barnaby, focus.
(BARNABY trots to the window, barks once, and drops a tennis ball at the victim’s feet.)
HAWTHORNE: A bribe? You think the victim was playing fetch with the murderer? (He looks closer at the ball.) Wait... there’s a smudge of green paint on this. The gardener!
(BARNABY lets out a joyful howl and begins spinning in circles.)
HAWTHORNE: Good boy. Let’s go get the cuffs. And a treat. Definitely a treat.
[BLACKOUT]
The Galactic Refund
Characters:
ZORK: An alien with four arms, holding a "Human."
CLERK: A bored bureaucrat behind a floating desk.
Setting: The Intergalactic Exchange Hub.
ZORK: I wish to return this. It is defective.
CLERK: (Sighs) Reason for return?
ZORK: It won't stop talking. I bought it for "primitive companionship," but all it does is complain about the "lack of gravity" and ask when "lunch" is.
CLERK: Did you read the manual? Humans require constant nitrogen-oxygen mixtures and frequent validation.
ZORK: It also tried to "colonize" my kitchen. It put a tiny flag in the nutrient paste!
CLERK: (Checks the tag) Ah, I see the problem. This is a "Middle Manager" model. They are notoriously territorial.
ZORK: Can I exchange it for a cat? I hear they are quiet.
CLERK: Cats are an upgrade. You’ll need to pay the "Superiority Complex" tax.
[BLACKOUT]
The Knight’s Insurance Claim
Characters:
SIR GALAHAD: Shining armor, slightly singed.
AGNES: An insurance adjuster from "Ye Olde Mutual."
Setting: A tent on a battlefield.
AGNES: So, you’re claiming "Acts of Dragon"?
GALAHAD: It breathed fire, Agnes! My shield is a puddle! My horse has ptsd!
AGNES: Our policy clearly states that fire damage is only covered if the dragon is at least fifty feet long. This looks like a wyvern job.
GALAHAD: It was huge! It had a hoard! It had a dental plan!
AGNES: (Touching the singed cape) This is polyester. Your premium only covers wool and enchanted silk.
GALAHAD: I am fighting for the kingdom!
AGNES: And I am fighting for the bottom line. Next time, get the "Total Quest Protection" add-on. It includes bail for accidental princess kidnapping.
[BLACKOUT]




The Duel Of the Decades.

BLACKOUT]
The Duel of the Decades
Characters:
LORD BYRON: A 19th-century poet, dramatic and ruffled.
CHAD: A 21st-century "influencer" with a tripod.
Setting: A misty, purgatory-like moor.
BYRON: (Brandishing a quill) You dare challenge my legacy with your... "TikToks"? I have bled ink for the soul of man!
CHAD: Bro, your "soul of man" doesn't have a high engagement rate. I have four million followers. How many copies of Don Juan did you sell in the first twenty-four hours?
BYRON: I was the scandal of Europe! Women fainted at the mention of my name!
CHAD: Yeah, well, I have a brand deal with a protein powder company. I’m "physically aesthetic." You’re just... damp.
BYRON: I wrote of the mountains, the sea, the eternal yearning of the spirit!
CHAD: (Adjusting his ring light) That’s cool, but can you do the "Renegade" dance? If you don't have a hook in the first three seconds, people just swipe past your yearning, man.
BYRON: (Looks at the quill, defeated) Is there no room for the sublime?
CHAD: There’s room for a "Get Ready With Me" video. "GRWM: Writing a Poem about Sadness (Sponcon)."
BYRON: (Sighs) Give me the glowing rectangle. I shall learn of this "filter."
[BLACKOUT]
The Script Doctor
Characters:
WRITER: Disheveled, surrounded by crumpled paper.
THE MUSE: A woman in a business suit holding a shredder.
Setting: A dark office.
WRITER: It’s my masterpiece! A six-hour epic about the history of salt!
MUSE: (Feeds a page into the shredder) Too salty.
WRITER: Hey! That was the climax! The Great Sodium Riot of 1648!
MUSE: Nobody cares about salt, Arthur. They want "relatable content." Make the salt a metaphor for a broken marriage.
WRITER: But I’ve done the research! I have maps!
MUSE: (Picks up another page) "Scene 14: The Molecule Speaks." No. Molecules don't have character arcs.
WRITER: This one does! He’s lonely! He’s looking for a Chloride to his Sodium!
MUSE: (Pause) Is there a love triangle?
WRITER: With a Potassium atom, yes.
MUSE: ...Keep writing. But lose the maps.
[BLACKOUT]



ZANE: (Checks the battery) This is from a 2080 model. It’s junk.
continue
The Noir of the Missing Sock
Characters:
DETECTIVE FINN: Wears a trench coat over boxers.
MRS. HIGGINS: A concerned neighbor holding a laundry basket.
Setting: A dimly lit communal laundry room. A single dryer spins rhythmically.
FINN: (Leaning against a vending machine) You sure you saw him, Higgins? The Left Argyle?
HIGGINS: He was there at 2:00 PM, Detective. I saw the diamonds. Deep navy, touch of burgundy. He went into the wash with his twin. Only the right one came out.
FINN: (Picks up a lint trap, inspecting it with a magnifying glass) The dryer—it’s a cold-blooded machine. It eats the weak.
FINN: With a fishnet stocking from Apartment 4B? Maybe. But look at this. (He holds up a single thread). Static cling. This was a struggle.
HIGGINS: What are you going to do?
FINN: I’m going into the drum, Higgins. If I’m not back in ten minutes, tell my tailor… I went out seamless.
[BLACKOUT]
The Dragon’s HR Department
Characters:
BARTIMUS: A weary knight in dented armor.
KRYZELDA: A goblin sitting behind a stone desk.
KRYZELDA: Do you have an appointment?
BARTIMUS: An appointment? I have a broadsword!
KRYZELDA: (Sighs, flipping through a ledger) Broadswords are "unauthorized workplace equipment." Did you fill out the Liability Waiver for scale-related injuries?
KRYZELDA: (Points to a charred pile of helmets) The last "Paladin" didn't fill it out either. Now he’s a decorative ash-tray. Also, the Princess is currently on her lunch break. She’s started a podcast with the Dragon.
BARTIMUS: A podcast? "The Hoard and the Bored"?
KRYZELDA: Exactly. They’re sponsored by a mead company now. Slaying is strictly prohibited during recording sessions.
BARTIMUS: (Sheathing his sword) Fine. Can I at least get my parking validated?
[BLACKOUT]
Characters:
ELIAS: A man from 2150.
SARAH: A woman from 2024.
Setting: A park bench.
ELIAS: I’ve traveled eighty years to find you. To stop the Great Collapse.
SARAH: (Eating a sandwich) Oh? Is it nuclear war? Climate change? AI taking over the world?
ELIAS: No. It’s the "Cilantro Incident."
SARAH: (Stops chewing) The what?
SARAH: It does! It’s a genetic thing!
ELIAS: That post goes viral. It starts a digital civil war. Families are torn apart. The "Suds-Heads" versus the "Herb-Lovers." By 2050, the world is a wasteland of unseasoned salsa.
SARAH: (Looks at her phone, then the taco) So… if I don't post it?
SARAH: (Beat) ...But it’s a really good photo. The lighting is perfect.
ELIAS: Sarah, no.
SARAH: (Tapping the screen) Sorry, Elias. The world can burn, but this aesthetic is fire.


HIGGINS: You don't think he… ran off?
Setting: The entrance to a smoking cavern. A sign reads: "Safety First - 0 Days Since Last Immolation."
BARTIMUS: I am here to slay the beast. To rescue the Princess. To reclaim the—
BARTIMUS: I am a Paladin of the High Order! We don't fill out—
KRYZELDA: Only if you subscribe on Patreon.
The Time Traveler’s Regret
ELIAS: In three minutes, you’re going to post a photo of your taco. You’re going to caption it: "Cilantro tastes like soap. Change my mind."
ELIAS: Peace. Prosperity. And we finally get flying cars.
[BLACKOUT

The Case Of Cracked Phone.


The Case of the Cracked Phone
Characters:
DETECTIVE BRIGGS: A man who takes everything too seriously.
ALEX: A teenager looking very guilty.
Greek Tragedy Parodies
[SCENE START]
Characters:
CHORUS: A group of townspeople who only speak in dramatic pronouncements.
OEDIPUS: A man who has a very bad day.
Setting: The steps of a very large temple.
(The CHORUS enters, wringing their hands.)
CHORUS: Woe! Alas! The king approaches! His life, a tapestry of woe!
(OEDIPUS enters. He looks stressed.)
OEDIPUS: What's the trouble now? Did someone steal the olives?
CHORUS: The gods are angry! A plague has fallen upon Thebes! The crops are withered! The livestock are… well, let's not talk about the livestock.
OEDIPUS: A plague? I just got this city cleaned up! I slayed the Sphinx! I married the queen! What more do they want?
CHORUS: The Oracle demands a sacrifice! Someone must pay for the city's sins!
OEDIPUS: Fine, I'll sacrifice… a goat. A really nice one.
CHORUS: No, great king! The Oracle speaks of a human sacrifice!
OEDIPUS: (Sighs) Alright, who messed up? Spill it!
CHORUS: It is unknown! But we must find the guilty party!
OEDIPUS: (To the audience) I hate these kinds of days.
(OEDIPUS begins to question the townspeople. He is very bad at it.)
OEDIPUS: Did you kill the former king? Did you, perhaps, want to kill the former king? Did you, maybe, think about killing the former king while you were… I don’t know… shopping?
(The CHORUS gasps dramatically at everything.)
CHORUS: The plot thickens! The tension rises!
OEDIPUS: Just tell me what happened!
CHORUS: You must find the murderer! You must bring him to justice! Even if… he is… yourself!
OEDIPUS: (Beat) Wait, what?
(The CHORUS screams and runs off stage. OEDIPUS is left alone, confused. A messenger enters.)
MESSENGER: Your mother… she…
OEDIPUS: Don't tell me. She's the murderer.
MESSENGER: Worse.
OEDIPUS: Worse? Did she… eat the olives?
MESSENGER: She… hanged herself. And your wife… is your mother.
OEDIPUS: (Screams)
(OEDIPUS runs offstage. The CHORUS re-enters.)
CHORUS: Tragedy! Despair! And a really bad day for Oedipus!
(The CHORUS exits, still wringing their hands.)
[SCENE END]
Superhero Therapy Session
[SCENE START]
Characters:
DR. ANNA: A therapist.
CAPTAIN AWESOME: A superhero with a lot of issues.
Setting: Dr. Anna's office. It has a calming atmosphere.
(CAPTAIN AWESOME sits on the couch. He is wearing his costume, but his cape is draped over the chair.)
DR. ANNA: So, Captain Awesome, you said you wanted to talk about your recent… existential crisis?
CAPTAIN AWESOME: (Sighs) It’s just… saving the world is exhausting.
DR. ANNA: I can imagine. Tell me more.
CAPTAIN AWESOME: Every day, it’s the same thing. Bank robberies, alien invasions, giant robots… and I have to stop them all! It's like, does anyone appreciate the effort?
DR. ANNA: It sounds like you're feeling unappreciated.
CAPTAIN AWESOME: The other day, I saved the city from a meteor. A giant meteor! And what did I get? A parking ticket!
DR. ANNA: (Nods) That must have been frustrating.
CAPTAIN AWESOME: And the villains! They're always so… dramatic. Like, can't they just rob the bank and go home? No, they have to monologue for an hour about their evil plans!
DR. ANNA: (Smiling slightly) It sounds like you find them tedious.
CAPTAIN AWESOME: Tedious! Yesterday, I fought a guy who could control broccoli. Broccoli! Seriously?
DR. ANNA: Perhaps you could try setting boundaries with the villains.
CAPTAIN AWESOME: Boundaries? How do I tell a guy made of broccoli to stop monologuing?
DR. ANNA: Maybe you could say, "Look, Broccoli-Man, I haven't got all day."
CAPTAIN AWESOME: (Thinks) I could try that. But what if he gets offended? Then I'll have to fight him again. And the broccoli's always getting stuck in my boots.
DR. ANNA: We can work on strategies for dealing with difficult villains. But first, let's talk about the parking ticket...
(CAPTAIN AWESOME groans.)
[End)