The Case Of Cracked Phone.

The Case of the Cracked Phone

Characters:

DETECTIVE BRIGGS: A man who takes everything too seriously.

ALEX: A teenager looking very guilty.

Greek Tragedy Parodies

[SCENE START]

Characters:

CHORUS: A group of townspeople who only speak in dramatic pronouncements.

OEDIPUS: A man who has a very bad day.

Setting: The steps of a very large temple.

(The CHORUS enters, wringing their hands.)

CHORUS: Woe! Alas! The king approaches! His life, a tapestry of woe!

(OEDIPUS enters. He looks stressed.)

OEDIPUS: What's the trouble now? Did someone steal the olives?

CHORUS: The gods are angry! A plague has fallen upon Thebes! The crops are withered! The livestock are… well, let's not talk about the livestock.

OEDIPUS: A plague? I just got this city cleaned up! I slayed the Sphinx! I married the queen! What more do they want?

CHORUS: The Oracle demands a sacrifice! Someone must pay for the city's sins!

OEDIPUS: Fine, I'll sacrifice… a goat. A really nice one.

CHORUS: No, great king! The Oracle speaks of a human sacrifice!

OEDIPUS: (Sighs) Alright, who messed up? Spill it!

CHORUS: It is unknown! But we must find the guilty party!

OEDIPUS: (To the audience) I hate these kinds of days.

(OEDIPUS begins to question the townspeople. He is very bad at it.)

OEDIPUS: Did you kill the former king? Did you, perhaps, want to kill the former king? Did you, maybe, think about killing the former king while you were… I don’t know… shopping?

(The CHORUS gasps dramatically at everything.)

CHORUS: The plot thickens! The tension rises!

OEDIPUS: Just tell me what happened!

CHORUS: You must find the murderer! You must bring him to justice! Even if… he is… yourself!

OEDIPUS: (Beat) Wait, what?

(The CHORUS screams and runs off stage. OEDIPUS is left alone, confused. A messenger enters.)

MESSENGER: Your mother… she…

OEDIPUS: Don't tell me. She's the murderer.

MESSENGER: Worse.

OEDIPUS: Worse? Did she… eat the olives?

MESSENGER: She… hanged herself. And your wife… is your mother.

OEDIPUS: (Screams)

(OEDIPUS runs offstage. The CHORUS re-enters.)

CHORUS: Tragedy! Despair! And a really bad day for Oedipus!

(The CHORUS exits, still wringing their hands.)

[SCENE END]

Superhero Therapy Session

[SCENE START]

Characters:

DR. ANNA: A therapist.

CAPTAIN AWESOME: A superhero with a lot of issues.

Setting: Dr. Anna's office. It has a calming atmosphere.

(CAPTAIN AWESOME sits on the couch. He is wearing his costume, but his cape is draped over the chair.)

DR. ANNA: So, Captain Awesome, you said you wanted to talk about your recent… existential crisis?

CAPTAIN AWESOME: (Sighs) It’s just… saving the world is exhausting.

DR. ANNA: I can imagine. Tell me more.

CAPTAIN AWESOME: Every day, it’s the same thing. Bank robberies, alien invasions, giant robots… and I have to stop them all! It's like, does anyone appreciate the effort?

DR. ANNA: It sounds like you're feeling unappreciated.

CAPTAIN AWESOME: The other day, I saved the city from a meteor. A giant meteor! And what did I get? A parking ticket!

DR. ANNA: (Nods) That must have been frustrating.

CAPTAIN AWESOME: And the villains! They're always so… dramatic. Like, can't they just rob the bank and go home? No, they have to monologue for an hour about their evil plans!

DR. ANNA: (Smiling slightly) It sounds like you find them tedious.

CAPTAIN AWESOME: Tedious! Yesterday, I fought a guy who could control broccoli. Broccoli! Seriously?

DR. ANNA: Perhaps you could try setting boundaries with the villains.

CAPTAIN AWESOME: Boundaries? How do I tell a guy made of broccoli to stop monologuing?

DR. ANNA: Maybe you could say, "Look, Broccoli-Man, I haven't got all day."

CAPTAIN AWESOME: (Thinks) I could try that. But what if he gets offended? Then I'll have to fight him again. And the broccoli's always getting stuck in my boots.

DR. ANNA: We can work on strategies for dealing with difficult villains. But first, let's talk about the parking ticket...

(CAPTAIN AWESOME groans.)

[End)